Eat eat eat a dick Joel Joel Joel

For the next week, Joel will be undergoing some serious (but elective) cosmetic surgery.

First, he will get his stomach tucked. This will help enhance his abs while giving a lift to his upper quads.

Then he will have the skin on his shoulders tightened. The reason for this is that he wants a smooth, babylike surface on his shoulders for dudes to rest their hands on while he's eating their dick.

Finally, he will have his mouth widened. "Many times I have tried to devour dick and found the circumference of my piehole to be too wee," Joel explains, "Now I will be able to gobble more than four at a time. Plus, with my new bowl haircut, I'll look just like Carol Channing!"

Then he farted and giggled.

(pictured above, Tom Lichtenheld explains the new scientific method that will be used to kill all future Corona work)