This week: "Eragon" starring Ed Speleers, John Malkovich, & Jeremy Irons. 1 hr 44 mins. Rated PG.
Well, the first thing that struck me about this movie was its obvious influences by big epic fantasies like the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy and the recent film "Reign of Fire."
Ed Speleers plays Eragon, who gloph uph meph theph gah oph fuh oph meph (gulp) eph thah ath heph ahh gahh fahh oahh aahh muphh muhhh muhh phoh ahh kaagghh.
Ahh gaahhhh, fahah? Thaah naahh goohh shohhhh fohhh (gulp).
Buh bah haughh hah huh gah phlehh dragahhh ahh sehhhh...such huge balls... gahhhh gahhh hahhh teh froahhh (gag) fehhh sheeuhh (gulp) tahhh dahhh ahhh ohhh oohhh tehhhh. Sheehhh nahhhh poohhh nohh hoh fehh shehh nuhh dragohhhhzhhh.
Grahh fahh hahhgahh noohh stehhh DVD gahhh transfehhh... so meaty... hughhh ghhhh fghhhh kaaakhhhh (gag) *cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough cough* hashhh thehhh frahhhh fahhhh buhh tuhh gerrghhhhh jushhhh frahhh thethhhh sahhhhh shehhh nahhhh.
Buuuhhahh hahahh ahhhshh drehhh puuhhh (choke) rehhh nuhhh ferrhhhh shehhh... (deep breath) stuhhh hunnnhhhh guhhh fuuhhh Ed Speleers hehhh verhhh sheehhhhh turhrhhh turhhh turhhhh gakk.
Joel's Movie Rating: ****
Joel's Transfer Rating: ***
Joel's Extras Rating: **
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