UAG

Meanwhile, Back At The Gaslight...

"Hello."

"Hello."

"I'm the Health Inspector from City Hall. Are you Roger Galloway, owner of this establishment?"

"No."

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Sample Episode Summaries For Three Shows I've Never Watched

Season 2, Episode 4 "Hydroxy-Whore-a-Quine" 

Jeff and Mya form an unlikely alliance to undermine Nurse Langford's authority on the East Wing. Donghai borrows some medical equipment to form his own robot band. Alison sleeps around like a horse.

Season 6, Episode 12 "Chicken Scratch" 

Samuel denies Kara's request for a promotion and tells her why. Rookie Donovan finds himself in trouble again after losing evidence. Captain Trenton serves his squad from a baked chicken food cart.

Season 5, Episode 3 "Gunga Din" 

Carlos injures himself after goofing off on an engine. Marshall Thomas discovers how badly the budget cuts affect him. A four alarm fire in the warehouse district interrupts Game Night.

Recycling Bin Was Nervous.

Recycling Bin was nervous around Bear.

Takeout Container was terrified of Bear.

One set of Trash Cans was angry.

Another set was relaxing after a long day of work.

Speed Bump was ambivalent.

Stencil Board was bewildered.

UAG

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

Periodically, HBO Max renews or cancels shows or movies based on market research. Here now are all the shows that will be added to Hulu this month:  

• ACL: The NFL's Favorite Torn Ligament

• Half-Assed Urban Nature Walk

• The Bachelor-To-Be

• The Masked, Bound, and Gagged Singer

• Ocean Cops!

• My Penis In Micronesia

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max is removing from their lineup this month:

• America's Got Lupus

• AW SHIT: C-SPAN UNCENSORED

• We Watch Snoop Dogg Sleep

• Wheel of Fortune Cookies

• The Book of Zuckuss

4 Storylines That the Creators of "Ted Lasso" Abandoned

After only 2 seasons, AppleTV+'s Ted Lasso has quickly become a smash hit with millions of viewers, in part due to the uplifting stories of goodness and perseverance. With so many stories and plot lines to explore in the last few seasons, Ted Lasso's creators have shared some storylines that simply didn't make the cut:

•  Ted uncovers a black market organ harvesting ring and tells no one about it because he's no snitch

• Rebecca says to hell with it and sells the team back to Rupert

• Nathan becomes FULLY evil and begins a genocide

• The Richmond team finally wins a championship and no one ever has to grow or learn ever again

UAG

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

"I know we're conjoined, but do you mind?"

Finally a Rugrat won't put up with Angelica Pickles's shit.

Did someone just kill Mariah Carey?

Finally an album cover that offers an excuse of why the album is late.

Excedrin headaches are the worst.

Vanice would like to show you her Jagina.

These are probably the most sensual and provocative LinkedIn profile photos I've ever seen.

Creepy. Pass.

This one is excellent. Amazing what you can do with a 3D printer.

For his next album, The Weeknd will use prosthetics to transform into a young Barbara Streisand.

Holy shit. Look at that plane taking off vertically in the background. Why is no one impressed?

The ProofrEADJer: Mid-June Edition

I'm not even sure if this one is a typo. But I can't make heads or tails of "Made a cock?"

Some Burning Questions About Some Shit I Saw in a Target Parking Lot

Why do some people put a Kleenex box on their dash? Is it to be a better host for people riding with them, sort of a classy perk? Or do they have perpetually runny noses and absolutely need it right there? If so, why isn't it at the console at their side and not blocking their view? 

Is the Kleenex box stuck with tape on the dash so it doesn't fall off?

Doesn't the tissue box combined with the dumb flower hanging off the rear view mirror create major visibility issues?

Why doesn't the driver just wipe their snotty nose on the dumb flower?

A Words From Friends Rack I Got

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Netflix has announced that the following shows and movies are being added to their schedule:

• Wind Farms and the Immigrant Workers Who Harvest For Them

• Misinformation: Why It's All Obama's Fault

• All-Christian Version of American Pie

• The Global Cultural Impact of the PDF

• The Penis Monologues

• The Creature That Suckles on the Underside of the Big Swimming Thing in Dagobah Swamp: A Star Wars Story

Here are the shows and movies that Netflix is removing from their schedule:

• TIME: How Pauly Shore Became A Respected Veteran Comedian

• Charlie Pluth: Aren't You Too Old To Know About Him?

• The Masked Accountant Reveals All The Accountants' Most Famous Tricks

• The History of Girl Scout Cookies and How Their Moms Always Really Were The Ones Selling Them

• Goof Troop: After Dark

• Sombrero Olympics

The EADJ Fashion Round-Up, 2022 Winter Collection

Stacy's Aunt doesn't have it going on.

Either this guy biked to the bank or he's being thrifty in case his pants pockets have holes and wants to catch the coins that fall.

This fellow crossing the street near Lake Merrit in Oakland had a bright orange parasol and a cowhide satchel and he was worried that cars won't notice him.

A Mini Smecial Dreams Entry

An IM from me to Andrew:

An IM from Andrew to me:

A Couple of Burning Questions About the Rite Choice Realty Billboard From Yesterday, Answered Today

Yesterday's entry here.

2) That woman is Michelle Gomes, real estate broker and OWNER of the business. Not sure why she seems uncomfortable. Maybe she was busy closing a sale and they photographer was taking too long snapping her photo. Like, GET ON WITH IT, DANIEL.

3) The ad is partially white because according to the realty website, the office makes generous and tasteful use of white in its interior, punctuated by black signs and chairs.

4) Not mafia owned or run. Mrs. Gomes is all above board. I'm sorry I implied it. Please don't come after me.

6) NOT a bad media buy if the realtors got FREE PUBLICITY from this very blog. They got TWO ENTRIES from us, FOR FREE!'

Some Burning Questions About The Rite Choice Realty Billboard in Union, NJ

1) What the shit?

2) Is that woman being interrogated? Why does she look uncomfortable?

3) Why is it half white/half white? Are they emulating the old Scarface poster?

4) Is this a mafia-run business? Is that the don's daughter?

5) It was kind of disrespectful to leave "OUTFRONT" under the woman, yes?

6) Was this media buy really the "rite" choice?

More Stupid Taglines For a Dumb Movie That Isn't Even In Theatres Anymore