Monday, August 14, 2017

Friday, August 11, 2017

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness


This is only slightly more offensive than the actual Barbie dolls.


My desert island album: not this mixtape.


The new iPhone 8 is going to be so expensive, you're better off talking into a stack of hunnids.


Fiber. And the printed word.


I swear I think I see Luanne Platter's ass from "King of the Hill" in there somewhere.


Oh, don't remind me of that awful Mark Wahlberg "Planet of the Apes" movie.


I imagine not being able to understand a word he raps.


Okay, can we all just agree that a shot of a rapper blowing smoke isn't creative anymore? It's about as edgy and interesting as a steaming bowl of oatmeal. Yay, oatmeal.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Some Quick Notes From Tami and Chelsea


Listen up, bitches, PAY ATTENTION! Put away your phones, cut the chitchat and make a half-circle around us in 3...2...1.

No, we're not stretching out right now, Phoebe. This is just a touch-base.

Okay. DanceExpo is in 16 DAYS, people! That means we've got to get our two routines down, tight and ready for Albuquerque in 15 days. I mean it, ladies, we've got a lot of work to do between now and our 6pm slot! For realsy.

But before we even start stretching out (serious, Phoebe, not yet), Chelsea and I have a few notes about "Sorry Not Sorry:" Everyone's nice and crisp in the first verse, but when we get to "now payback is a bad bitch," I'm seeing a lot of sloppy heel-toe-heel in the back row. That includes Sophie, Candace, Allison T. and Gabriella. I'm sorry, ladies, but you gotta keep it going strong. Just because you're in the back doesn't mean judges aren't seeing your feet.

Secondly, breathing. When we're doing the fourth front-to-back-leg combo, I don't want you gasping your way through it– it messes the flow and we can all see it. So that means you need to control your breathing and not hold it during the air run. Cool? Cool.

HANDS should be tight. ELBOWS should be tight. HIPS together and CRISP, dammit. These are all things that made us the number 4 dance squad in Cleveland. Let's never forget that.

Okay, hands in the middle here:

Are we tough? YES!!!
Are we professional? YES!!!
Who are we? WE ARE WHITEFISH BAY GLAMOUR SPIRIT SQUAD 2017!!!!!

Amen. LET'S DO THIS!