Thursday, November 24, 2016

Here Are Your Timesheets For The Week of Whatever Date This Is



Delivered-To: jqncsu@ncsu.eduReceived: by 10.220.150.3 with SMTP id w3cs127581vcv;Tue, 4 Oct 2011 14:49:35 -0700 (PDT)

Received: by 10.236.156.33 with SMTP id l21mr9893981yhk.24.1317764974722;Tue, 04 Oct 2011 14:49:34 -0700 (PDT)Return-Path: Received: from uni02mi.unity.ncsu.edu (uni02mi.unity.ncsu.edu. [152.1.2.225])by mx.google.com with ESMTP id q64si7645508yhm.106.2011.10.04.14.49.34;Tue, 04 Oct 2011 14:49:34 -0700 (PDT)Received-SPF: pass (google.com: best guess record for domain of xuzabc@ncsu.edu designates 152.1.2.225 as permitted sender) client-ip=152.1.2.225;Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=pass (google.com: best guess record for domain of xyzabc@ncsu.edu designates 152.1.2.225 as permitted sender) smtp.mail=xyzabc@ncsu.eduReceived: from psmtp.com (na3sys009amx171.postini.com [74.125.149.97])by uni02mi.unity.ncsu.edu (8.14.4/8.14.4/Nv6.2010.0805) with ESMTP id p94LnXE9013797for ; Tue, 4 Oct 2011 17:49:34 -0400 (EDT)Received: from na3sys009aog108.obsmtp.com ([74.125.149.199]) (using TLSv1) by na3sys009amx171.postini.com ([74.125.148.10]) with SMTP;Tue, 04 Oct 2011 17:49:34 EDT

Hi all!

Sorry for the email gibberish. I don't know how to remove it! This is Grace from reception, and Mr. Peterman has charged me with reminding everyone that timesheets are due by the end of this week! He says this is very important for each and every one of you to do to keep billing up to speed, and I'm sure all of you can do it! So if you need a job code for doing your timesheet today or tomorrow, just look for it on the following list, and THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

-------------

328573: Thinking up a nice, folksy analogy

572599: Arguing feebly how saying "All Lives Manner" isn't racist

238151: Relearning that Soulja Boy dance

992856: Sucking up to Ernie Hudson

611053: Rubbing one out in the supply closet

035125: Cleaning up the supply closet

247255: Making you my bitch

725595: Restructuring polling districts to favor your candidate

383833: Explaining to a novice rapper that "burying the beef" isn't a sexual thing

605112: Sucking the clear gelatin from a can of Vienna sausages through a straw

931753: Googling cheat codes for 2048

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Air Was Scared


Air was scared.


Weather map was confused.


Light fixture said, "Stop whining."


Photo Developer looked on in shock.


And Bathroom Stall Shelf just sat there like a doofus.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of November 13


Twitter can suck my ass. But if you use the damn thing, here are unpopular hashtags you can use to further pollute the Internet with your shitty opinions and widen the political divide in this faltering country:

#3titbuffet
#yogaaftertacos
#newcoffinsmell
#chandlerbingfanfic
#GordonRamsaymeditation
#onehourblowjobatLenscrafters
#NoMan'sSkyGameofTheYearEdition
#who'sgrabbingmyballsundermyskirt
#IwanttopunchChrisPrattsohardintheface