Thursday, January 5, 2017

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of January 2017


I know, I know. A certain shitty-President-to-be has cornered the market on awful tweets, so it pretty much renders this segment null as of January 20. But until then, here are the worst hashtags you can utilize in your little Twitter rant:

#koalatits
#dasvidaniyaPutin
#eroticnightterrors
#skeksisinathong
#smashmouthonvinyl
#dollarstoreheistmontage
#killingmesoftlywithhisknife
#theEverlyBrothersdickstouching
#standinginlinealreadyforthat50ShadesofGreysequel
#playingCardsAgainstHumanitywithanactualwarcriminal

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Display Hidden Rows and Columns At The Same Time


1) To select all cells on a worksheet, do one of the following: Click the Select All button. Press Ctrl+A.

2) On the Home tab, in the Cells group, click Format.

3) Do one of the following: Under Visibility, point to Hide & Unhide, and then click Unhide Rows or Unhide Columns.

And speaking of "hiding and unhiding," when you find the button that raises and lowers the partition to the front of my limo, please don't play with it like an idiot. The wiring breaks down easily, and remember, I do have your credit card number for the deposit. Play safe, kids.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

6 Lies Told By The Dutch Wonderland Brochure


1) "Duke's Lagoon: Water Play Area" - Maybe I'm ruined by the Internet, but that sounds like both shit and piss.

2) Dinosaurs Come to Life on Exploration Island" - The dinosaur necromancer doesn't bring the dinosaurs to full life, per se. He actually temporarily animates the long dead corpses of the dinosaurs for children's amusement but mercifully allows them to rest once the kids leave.

3) This illustration is exaggerated. There are actually only two gondolas in the sky ride.

4) Take your picture with all your favorite non-Disney characters like Prince Pleasant, Princess Belle Cinderhontas, or The Big Wizzer.


5) Duke has a fake ID and will buy your teenage and tween kids beers. Just be cool about it.

6) There's nothing children at a theme park love more than sitting still in a cabana.

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