The angry bird Alex Jones is a prolific shit-sprinkler of hate serves up unintelligible theories on the daily. But his talented stable of writers still have to stay ahead of the curve and have some rambling points created a day or two in advance of broadcast. Here are some of the "news stories" they're still working on:
• Anyone who officiates a lesbian wedding at any time receives a "hail Satan" t-shirt and an Indigo Girls CD box set.
• California have created small voting booths to place between the legs of illegal immigrant mothers giving birth so that when the baby is born, he can vote Democratic.
• Every photo posted on Imgur has an embedded invisible watermark that reads "BIDEN 2020".
• The Great Pacific garbage patch is actually an ISIS submarine covered in Kenyan birth certificates.
• The 2018 Mazda CX-3 crossover is a conspiracy of styling, engineering and practicality! (Sponsored by Mazda USA)
• Most women's nipples have a webcam used to blackmail radio show hosts into paying for their beauty school tuition.
• The inventor of Spanx is a democrat. Therefore, wearing Spanx will cause you to have an abortion.