Gag

Pictured above, EASILY the most disgusting mobile game ad I've ever had the misfortune to see. Thanks Project Makeover! 🖕

A DoorDash Post

Pictured above, The Salad House, "Healthy".

Commercial Break

Coca Cola. For when Common, Portia de Rossi and Feist get together for Beeferoni and salad.

UAG

Creeeeeeepy

 Found on Facebook:

That's gotta be A.I. art and not photography, right? Unless my man found some giraffe of a woman. Geez.

Question

 

What is "tobacco violence"?

The ProofrEADJer: End o' November Edition

And multiple offenses on this contractor van:

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

This Week In Failed Kickstarter Projects

Here are the latest crowdfunded projects that failed to meet their financial goals:

• A small, handsome derby for beetles which they can tip when they meet each other in public

• Dung-based burger patties

• Alcoholic Capri-Suns shaped like tits (for adults only)

• Alcoholic Ring Pops shaped like dicks (for adults only)

• a dumb custom car horn for Jeeps that's just someone yelling "JEEP!"

• an unauthorized biography of actor Robert Duvall that's actually authorized

• inedible panties

• "Hardworking Susan" - a raised table platform for food that does NOT turn

Whattaya Say We Say Goodbye To Stuff Like Marketers Want Us To?

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! *kiss* (figuratively) Goodbye!

"Why Aren't People Watching Network TV Anymore?"

I dunno. Maybe because they don't want to see the 5th reboot of a show they watched 30 years ago?

A Follow Up To An Earlier Post

We posted an entry about a bizarre Etsy banner earlier last month, and I guess because of the browsing history, we got ANOTHER weird banner, but from eBay:

WHY WOULD I WANT A MUGSHOT OF A SULLEN, DISHEVELED TIGER WOODS?!

WHY IS THIS SO AWESOME??!!

Spotted Online

You know video game consoles are getting expensive when they offer low APR financing. Sheesh.

Advertising Copywriters Refuse To Say Goodbye To Headlines That Begin With "Say Goodbye To..."

Goodbye! Goodbye! Bye bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! 

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of Nov. 10

Twitter sucks my nuts, but even lowly Twitter users have standards when it comes to hashtags. Here are the hashtags that are NOT trending:

#Etsybargain

#groinOlympics

#DeSantisKombucha

#DollarGeneralskeetskeet

#sexualassaultwithabanjo

#followmeformoreterriblelegaladvice

#personallyIlikethewaythisbowlhaircutlooks

Mini Doppelgänger Entry

This toy also sort of looks like me:

And this dude found on Facebook who might be related to me.

Submitted by Andrew Gall, a hairier, homeless version of Marshall:

Submitted by Bill Dow, John Reid as a "permanent part of the khazakstan exhibit at navy pier."

"It Does Not Matter How Slowly You Go As Long As You Do Not Pathmark."

 

Hollywood Gives Up and Just Makes Movies Out of Products That Celebrities Are Currently Endorsing

The major studios have been out of original movie ideas for years. But only now have they figured, Why not just make a movie out of the movie stars' product endorsements that you can find at your local Walgreens? Here now are all the synergistic releases movie audiences can look forward to:

"Cozy Days To Glamorous Nights" starring Tamera Mowry

An identical twin estranged from her sister travels to the Italian island of Scünci to get away from her troubles. She hangs out in sweatshirts and yoga pants (cozy days) in her isolated villa but eventually finds love when she meets a mysterious dark winemaker (glamorous nights). Rated R for nudity and coarse language.

"Nobody Glows Like You" starring Taraji P. Henson

An inspirational semi-fictional-biopic of Taraji's rise to fame. Taraji stars as a young daughter of a royal space archaeologist who unites his moon colony to dethrone the tyrannical Mars invaders. Music by Taraji P. Henson and The Killers.

"Hyaluron + Plump" starring Eva Longoria and Ellie Fanning

A female buddy cop movie– Longoria plays the strait-laced Captain Valerie Plump who's very sensitive about her surname, and Fanning plays the flighty Gen Z rookie Moonbeam Hyaluron. Together they uncover a corruption scandal that reaches all the way to CITY HALL!!!!! Rated PG-13 with an upbeat soundtrack by Fall Out Boy, Lizzo, and Maggie Rogers.

Let's Shave Gyro Meat Off of the Sides of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Emily Kane, this article with a technically correct but very lazy photo caption: 

The ProofrEADJer: Early November Edition