This one isn't so much a typo as it is very unfortunate word spacing:
Thursday, August 31, 2023
Wednesday, August 30, 2023
Tuesday, August 29, 2023
Monday, August 28, 2023
Thursday, August 24, 2023
The Grammys!
This Friday, CBS presents the 408th Annual Grammys, celebrating the best in music for 2023-2024.
featuring performances by:
Howie Duskfeather!
The Podcasters!
Shawna Gettyimages!
The amateurish YouTube stylings of Atharv Arpalanawa!
A special reunion of the 90s grunge band GREST!
Musical puppeteer Donald Thoroughford!
Lil' DebE and the Swiss Rollz
Constipated Hank!
Professor In-Charge Stooo-Dent Debt!
The Felt Bulges!
The Meritocracy Sisters!
The WeQuitOurDayJobs!
Wednesday, August 23, 2023
This Week In Chicago Whatever
The following are episode synopses for this week:
Chicago P.D.
Danny impregnates Police Chief Boynton. One of the K-9 officers gets into the evidence locker and eats all the hashish. There's a birthday party in the break room for Wayne.
Chicago Med
Dr. Donovan confronts Alice about the prank liver. The nursing staff is delighted when Serena proposes working down to a luxurious 12 hour shift. A hilarious outbreak of meningitis clears the top floor.
Chicago Fire
Tammy and Walter pause their argument to help with a four-alarm fire. Fire Marshall Andretti eats Sammo's kim chee again. A building collapses in the warehouse district but nobody hears it.
Tuesday, August 22, 2023
Say Goodbye To Stuff Advertisers Insist You Say Goodbye To!
Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Aloha!
Wait. Are they saying "Say Goodbye to Incredible Savings?"
Monday, August 21, 2023
Dog Park Missed Connections
The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:
You: the Plott Hound/Doberman mix
Me: the Bernese Mountain Dog (although I hate hiking!)
Hey dude. You were running around with the zoomies and almost spilled my cocktail. What gives, jerk?
You: the energetic Akita
Me: the not so massive Mastiff
Hello, beautiful! We had a moment over by the poop bag trash can. I never caught your name. Call me?
You: the Scottish Deerhound with the tennis ball
Me: the Border Collie who had to pee a lot
You gave me some serious hump me vibes on Tuesday. I think we can turn this into a litter, no?
Friday, August 18, 2023
Thursday, August 17, 2023
Introducing the Phantom Fireworks Cinematic Universe
A display case at Stop & Shop reveals that the Phantom Fireworks company is planning to roll out feature films based on their individual products.
Here now are their upcoming HERO SERIES movie releases:
Static Bellectricity, starring Jessica Chastain
Chasten plays mild mannered Bella Brown, who discovers a magical medallion that unlocks the power to shoot electric blasts at people who tell her she can't achieve everything she sets her mind to.
Fearsome African-American, starring Keegan-Michael Key
Armed with a red spandex suit and a bold attitude, Fred Forpath transforms into FEARSOME AFRICAN-AMERICAN, who will INTIMIDATE his enemies into not making eye contact with him
Punching Down Man, starring Bill Maher
The legendary comedian plays Punching Down Man, a hero so out of touch with society norms that he thinks his doorman asking off for Ramadan is "too woke" and develops a stand-up routine/ramble mocking him.
The Sentient, starring Dave Bautista
Totally ripped and wearing a mask to hide his face, studio executives are eager to recast this role with a much cheaper actor when Bautista's contract runs out.
Captain Nuclear, starring Walton Goggins
This hero has the unfortunate ability to expose his team and everyone around him to deadly amounts of radiation, causing both his enemies and the people he loves to die of poisoning within months of exposure, while still tragically keeping him alive. He's the team captain.
Wednesday, August 16, 2023
Tuesday, August 15, 2023
Monday, August 14, 2023
Kill It With Fire
Spotted on Disney+, a promo for the Disneynature Collection:
Great gosh. An attempt at artistic digital collage ends up looking like painful radioactive mutations. And what are the large shapes containing it all? Oh, they're the animals' environments– an iceberg, a leaf and a droplet of water.
If A.I. isn't responsible for these horrific design decisions, I'd sure as hell blame it on that.
Friday, August 11, 2023
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