The ProofrEADJer: End of September Edition

The Answers To Tomorrow's Episode of "Spin That Button" Game Show

1) Rhubarb

2) tits

3) Pete Rock & CL Smooth

4) shirtless in LinkedIn

5) spanakopita

6) "out of many, one"

7) 83.3333333333

8) Barry Wood

9) Montesquieu

10) "Hot side hot, cool side cool!"

Highlights From The Upcoming VidCon

Next month's VidCon is the place to be for content creators, content creator fans, and deluded fans who think they are content creators. Here are some of the featured guests this time:

• Zach King appears and magically steals everyone's wallet

• That dipshit who records videos in their car speaks about content quality

• Special musical performance by Talentless Zer & His Irritating Otamatone

• Black Elon Musk will speak about Black Twitter

• Vine guy Thomas Sanders will whip out his Stewie Griffin impression for the 3,987,453th time.

UAG

Hollywood Fun Fact

Fun fact: Legendary actor James Hong (known for his roles in Big Trouble In Little China, Mulan, and Everything, Everywhere, All At Once), once directed an X-rated comedy when he was young.

Promoted as "The first seX with Karate." The director included martial arts fight scenes to try and cash in on the kung fu craze at the time.

Synopses For Upcoming Episodes of Netflix's "Charlie's Colorforms City"

"Questions"

A body found in the Colorforms River Basin turns out to be Mayor Blue's missing wife. Charlie bribes a health inspector so the Rainbow Eats Festival can move forward.

"Destination"

City official Purple is kidnapped in an Uber. Charlie confronts his ex-wife about her not honoring joint custody of the children. A thunderstorm threatens the Tie Dye Workshop.

"Answers"

Inmates escape from Colorforms Penitentiary. Charlie busts an opium den in the Cyan District. The gang war between the Reds and the Yellows ends when they form the Oranges.

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

Periodically, Hulu renews or cancels shows or movies based on viewer preferences some random algorithm. Here now are all the shows that will be added to Hulu this month:

• The Masked But Unvaccinated Singer

• 4 Hours of Someone Pouring Lentils Into A Bin

• Lathe Woodworking With Stumpy

• The Price Is Right But Only That Game Where You Have To Punch Your Hand Through The Paper Circles

• Parallel Parking with Kaitlyn Jenner 

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And here are the shows and movies that Hulu is removing from their lineup this month:

• Extremely Loud ASMR For the Hard of Hearing

• Family Freud

• Uber Confessions

• Boy Band of Brothers (from the creators of Cop Rock)

• Padma Lakshmi Refuses To Eat That

Fringe Backdrop

Do you even hear yourself.

UPC

Some More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Seen

"Now before we finish this 18th hole, I wanted to let you know that I'm actually Carlos Reyes, the man you cheated fifteen years ago."

*shoots him dead*

"Sorry, I messed up this possession. I'm new to this LOL"

"Maybe if we glower harder the drones will leave us alone."

"CANDICE DID YOU PICK THIS AIRBNB? I AM SO MAD AT YOU"

"I don't believe it. It's incredible. You did all that, doggy? Crazy."

"Miss, you dropped your drei..."

*makes eye contact*

"...dl."

"You said this was a DREAM HOUSE but didn't mention that the DREAM was a MURDERER's DREAM and not a REGULAR GOOD DREAM, you murderer!"

"No, don't kill him. We have six hours—plenty of time to get lunch and shop at that strip mall with the candle store."

Five New Scheduled Guests of the Upcoming Sony Creators Convention

Nigeria will be hosting the Sony Creators Convention next year, and so far these luminaries will be on hand to impart their wisdom:

 • Manosphere podcaster MachoChestbump has agreed to slap and humiliate any volunteers to make them feel how a real man treats them.

• 'Amateur Cooking With Rando' will walk the audience through a recipe for chicken tartare.

• "Catfish" hosts Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman have agreed to appear—if we can trust what they say online.

• Gordon Ramsay will show up for no reason other than to order the chicken parmesan

• TikTok magician Huddy Swain will wow the crowd with clearly edited magic tricks

Announcement: New AMC Stubs Rewards!

AMC is thrilled to share the latest perks for cardholders of its wildly successful Stubs program. Here are what members can expect soon:

• That rat in Theatre 6 has been caught and removed

• Our staff has agreed not to make creepy eye contact with you while buttering your popcorn

• We can call your mom to pick you up when the movie is over

• One free murder alibi

• If you want, we can separate the Mikes from the Ikes for you

• Free helmets for any 4D Michael Bay movie

• To make it more like a home theatre experience, we will periodically peek in and nag you to take out the trash

• New glory holes in all rows

Fringe Backdrop

Fringe rhymes with cringe.

Say Goodbye To More Bullshit That Advertisers Need You To Say Goodbye To!

 

Goodbye! Goodbye! 👋 Goodbye! Goodbye!

Remembering Sept 11

EADJ is seeing a lot less of twin towers in city clip art as years go by, but we remember.

This Week in Hip Hop Awfulness

 

A bit literal, aren't we?

JPEGMAFIA is always wonderfully weird. Or weirdly wonderful.

Yes, this is a real mixtape cover. A++++

The opposite of leg warmers.

It's so weird that I know exactly who that is from the drawing.

A note: mixtape covers with a goat on it saying you're the GOAT is no longer original. If everyone is the GOAT, NO ONE IS.

The Answers To Tomorrow's Episode of "Spin That Button" Game Show

1) Niels Bohr

2) Yes

3) 6

4) The Princess Bride

5) Cooties

6) U.S. Representative Maria Elvira Salazar

7) Georges Danton

8) Quisp

9) Steve Harwell

10) Trundle beds

More Mall Kiosks And What Their Attendants Are Probably Thinking

Annabel at the Girl Scout Cookie kiosk in the Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg, IL

• Fuck, I think I tore my ACL.

• My daughter better appreciate that I'm selling these for her.

Devin at the iRepair Expert kiosk in Pacific Place in Seattle, WA

• I'll need to sell 300 more phone cases to make rent this month.

• I bet I could pee my pants and no one would notice.

Hamza at the Soccer International kiosk in The Mall at Millenia in Orlando, FL

• If someone stabbed me in the chest with a CapriSun straw, could they drink my blood?

• I know all the words to Aerosmith's "Walk This Way". I wish someone would ask me to recite it all.

Tina at the TOYZ kiosk in the Russellville City Mall at Millenia in Russellville, AR

• This "Dune 2" movie is terrific.

• Wait, how many hours have I been away from the kiosk?

Dante at the Detroit Fragrance Company kiosk in the Grand Teton Mall at Millenia in Idaho Falls, ID

• My roommate better have folded the common area futon by the time I get home.

• I could take pretty much any man in this mall.

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Every so often, Netflix renews or cancels shows or movies based on viewer preferences. Here now are all the shows that will be added to Netflix this month:

• The Steve Bannon Comedy Festival

• Influencer Hunting

• Cooking With Meth

• The Last Hairbender

• Muppet Police Procedural

Here are the shows and movies that Netflix is removing from their lineup this month:

• America's Least Funny Home Videos

• Bollywood Squares

• Bottom Chef

• Bluey For Overthinkers

• Meerkat Timeshare

We Keep Saying Goodbye To Things That Need Saying Goodbye To

 

Goodbye! Goodbye!👋 Goodbye! Goodbye! 

The Latest New Perks of an AMC Stubs Membership

AMC Stubs continues to provide more fantastic rewards to its cardholders. Here are the latest swag and perks members can expect:

• special theatre seats that recline all the way down so you can get blown properly

• reusable but very gross popcorn bag

• a free pass to use the N word twice

• 5 cents off $40 worth of concessions

• subtitles for the very, very dumb

• access to an album of photos of actress Kristy Swanson's feet

• free 6-foot sub sandwich with purchase of every seat that would be inconvenienced by it