(The ongoing saga of the elusive Shorter Fatter Version of Scott Peterson continues. This entry is by guest writer Joe Nudelman (don't laugh), who graciously provided us with his take on the recent dearth of SFVOSP sightings. This entry is in black and white to hearken back to the romantic days of film noir.)
The shorter and fatter version of our beloved (term used loosely) Scott Peterson has proven to be quite elusive, and therefore much more cunning than might have otherwise been assumed. He has been spotted, both rarely and briefly, in the lobby in the general vicinity of the elevators. One can only assume due to the subjects’ stout stature that he frequents such fine eating establishments as Sbarro and Dunkin’ Donuts. Both businesses are within short range of the elevators, and could prove to be prime locales to camp in hopes of catching a glimpse of the ‘Shorter & Fatter Scott Peterson’.
It is my personal theory that the Shorter & Fatter Scott Peterson (above) has proven quite difficult to spot for several reasons. If you take note to this side-by-side comparison between the ‘human’ Scott Peterson and the ever elusive Shorter & Stouter Scott Peterson (below), you will note the bulbous belly area, accompanied by his short stature, likely due to a stunted and primitive physical development, create a much more animalistic appearance than that of Scott Peterson.
Therefore, it is my conclusion that this ‘man’ is not a man at all. But in fact, that which we’ve all come to know as the 'Shorter & Fatter Scott Peterson' is more of a sub-human primitive creature. He is likely more of a distant relative of the fantastical Sasquatch, known to many as ‘Big Foot’. I would, however, be more inclined to infer that this sub-humanoid creature is more, in essence, a ‘Little Foot’. I say that not simply because the film The Land Before Time is great and should be referenced more often; but as a result of the Shorter & Fatter Scott Peterson’s lack of height. Seeing as this is a creature of the wild that we are dealing with here, and what with winter and her blisteringly cruel elements in full effect; in all likelihood, the beast is hibernating. He is simply waiting for Spring to have sprung before emerging from the cave that is his garden apartment, and attempting to function in our scary go-go world. – Joe Nudelman
No comments:
Post a Comment