Joel was tearfully given a momento from the family of his former mentor Tianna: the angora rabbit's water bottle. Filled with the $200-a-bottle Bling gourmet bottled water, it was the last possession not auctioned off by Christie's this morning. Joel reportedly stayed dry-eyed until he saw that the nozzle was sort of phallic. He then slobbered and cried until he shat his cargo shorts. Tianna's former handlers were asked to clean him up.
Visionary German filmmaker Werner Herzog has shown interest in directing "DICK APPETIT: The Joel Thomas Story," a hot script which has made the rounds in recent weeks. Variety reports that Herzog would prefer to cast an unknown in the title role, saying that since Joel is pretty unknown already, he might as well jump in front of the camera. Whatever.
(pictured above, Peter K displays the new nickname Three 6 Mafia gave to him.
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