Jamba Juice announced a new dick smoothie for people like Joel. Well, just for Joel. The press packet (***FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE***) announced "Jamba Juice's all new Dick Mixes contain all the delicious dick Joel wants without the fat or carbs!" It also read that when you're on the go, and you can't stop for dick, grab a new Dick 2 Go Mixer and take that cock in a cab.
Although they seem pretty damned psyched about all this, keep in mind they were also very excited about selling those meat pocket microwaved thingies. Those things fucking BLOW. Not to get on too much of a Jim Gaffigan rant here or nuthin.
(pictured above, Kate Wilentz writes on a banana for a pitch. Out of frame, Brad Harvey deals with his confused arousal.)
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