Monday, January 27, 2014

You Are So Full Of Shit, Q-Tip

Hey Q-Tip, everybody knows the main use for your product is to clean your ears, and I realize you probably have plenty of legal reasons why you shouldn't encourage inserting your product into the ear canal, but come on, man. You're not fooling anybody with your "Variety Of Uses" section on your packaging. Get real, Q-Tip.

A "Variety Of Uses:" Either insert in your left ear OR your right ear! Dealer's choice!

If you're not using your finger to apply your eyebrow ointments (????!!!???!!???!!!!????) you really should take off the flowery dress and try it. Live a little, you raging pussy.

Show me a computer geek who cleans pubes and dried skin from his keyboard with a Q-Tip, and I will show you a fictional character from a Q-Tip Cotton Swab training video.

See, you can't legally show the Q-Tip entering the little brat's nostril, although everyone knows that's what you use it for, right? And this photo was taken .358 milliseconds before the baby flinched and said, "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?"

Perfect for guys pledging Sig Ep tasked with cleaning the house shower. Scrub that grout, worm! 

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