Friday, January 24, 2014

6 Lies Told By The Shenandoah Caverns Family Of Attractions Brochure

1) The CIA has a second cavern with elevator service in Langley for "interrogation purposes," but the 


2) "Cardross Castle" isn't so much a castle as it is a stinking heap of fossilized bat guano.

3) The Bacon Formations, although they really are made with bacon, unfortunately taste like Canadian ham when you lick the cave walls.

4) If you let your child enjoy our featured INDOOR BEEHIVE, your name is entered in the Child Protection Service database, coincidentally located in Langley, Virginia. INDOOR BEEHIVE, people.

5) The animatronic brown bears don't really "greet" guests, unless your definition of "greeting" is "mauling the elderly with their heavy, unstoppable metal claws."

6) Cinderella's Carriage is actually Snow White's; she lent it to her but never got it back after Cinderella moved to Fairfax to be closer to her mother.

EADJ is proud to announce that 6 Lies Told, in conjunction with Mattel, Inc., will be released as limited edition collector's Matchbox cars. Feel the fury of all six different lies as they race across your dining room table and into your kids' hearts! Some assembly required.

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