Pick One

Okay, which of these two product shot models look more like they're dead inside?

Is it the SNUGGIE TAILS kid...

Or the SNUGGIE grown man?

Which model realized their career is going VERY DIFFERENTLY than how they imagined?

The ProofrEADJer: Still November Edition

You Are So Full Of Shit, Q-Tip

Hey Q-Tip, everybody knows the main use for your product is to clean your ears, and I realize you probably have plenty of legal reasons why you shouldn't encourage inserting your product into the ear canal, but come on, man. You're not fooling anybody with your "Variety Of Uses" section on your packaging. Get real, Q-Tip.

A "Variety Of Uses:" Either insert in your left ear OR your right ear! Dealer's choice!

If you're not using your finger to apply your eyebrow ointments (????!!!???!!???!!!!????) you really should take off the flowery dress and try it. Live a little, you raging pussy.

Show me a computer geek who cleans pubes and dried skin from his keyboard with a Q-Tip, and I will show you a fictional character from a Q-Tip Cotton Swab training video.

See, you can't legally show the Q-Tip entering the little brat's nostril, although everyone knows that's what you use it for, right? And this photo was taken .358 milliseconds before the baby flinched and said, "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?"

Perfect for guys pledging Sig Ep tasked with cleaning the house shower. Scrub that grout, worm! 

The Dove Body Language Messenger

Last night I downloaded the Dove Body Language Messenger, a free app on the iPhone App Store. What I thought would be some advanced technology that can read your friends' body language to read their emotions turned out to be a gimmicky "women making letters of the alphabet" branded sharable digital doodad.


Here's how it works: you type a message, and the ladies do fancy yoga poses that eventually spell out what you typed. Wow! Cool neato, right? I can't believe this app is free!!!!!!



The catch is, you can't type "FUCK" or "SHIT" or "COCK" or anything fun, because otherwise you get gently scolded by the app:


Alright, then. Challenge accepted. Type something offensive or funny to my friends without using the standard four-letter expletives. I spent the next hour last night typing up messages and emailing them to Andrew, Vince, and Brad Harvey. Here is a sampling:









You can download this unintentionally hilarious app here.