Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Super Bowl®™ Ad Pre-Broadcast Roundup

EADJ was fortunate to receive a DVD with all of next Sunday's Super Bowl commercials. Here is a pre-game roundup review of our favorite commercials which the rest of you have yet to watch:

1) The men from "Duck Dynasty" shave their beards with the new Gillette ProGlide to reveal that they're really the "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" guys. A+

2) Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal sell the extra A's in their names for the delicious scrumptiousness of Duncan Hines Yellow Cake Mix. But does it make any sense? No. D

3) A transforming giant moose made of refrigerators takes a dump into Lake Placid for the new Kindle. B+

4) 15 seconds of a fully erect penis, followed by the logo and Danica Patrick not showing anything. C-


6) A fan-generated commercial for Doritos totally rips off a fan-generated commercial for Heinz Ketchup, resulting in two fan-generated attorneys to fan-duke it out in fan-court. (Grade pending)

7) Justin Bieber does a serious PSA about underage drinking and responsibility, saying that... JUST KIDDING! It's totally a viral trailer for "SUPERBAD 2: The New Blood," starring Jonah Hill, Michael Cera and Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and introducing Elle Fanning as McLovin's hard partying sister Cassandra! C+

8) Sarah Palin and Katie Couric bury the hatchet for a Klondike Bar. Sarah dumbly holds the package upside down. D+

9) The surviving members of the Beastie Boys, TLC, Queen and Def Leppard ask you if you're jellin' with Dr. Scholl's Massaging Insoles. F--------

10) Local station ad for an upcoming flea market. No special effects, celebrities, cast reunions or Clydesdales: C+

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