The EADJ Fashion Round-Up: Midsummer Collection

Lorenzo steps out in star jeans, tank top and gold chain murse to wow all the fellas at Lyrics.

Cory takes inspiration from a funnel cake wrapper in this delightful half-stripe/half flamingo ensemble from Kellerman's.

Aloha! Troy and Vic take New Jersey by storm in their anime-inspired outfits. Troy's matching green cargo pants and custom platforms by Hungover Creations. Vic's bell bottoms and tank from Brocade.

Bed Bath & Beyond is a clothing store for some people.

A bamboo floral print paired with leopard Zubas? Check yourself out at the self checkout!

Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Prepare Bok Choy For Stir Fry

1) Start by trimming the bok choy stem off – don't trim too much – just the end.

2) Cut the thick stem off to ensure that the bok choy cooks evenly.

3) Separate out the bok choy leaves and rinse under running water.

4) Place wok or frying pan on your stove and pour in the cooking oil.

5) Add garlic and ginger. Turn the heat to medium-high. Let the ginger and garlic gently sizzle in the oil. When the aromatics become fragrant and light golden brown, add the bok choy leaves. Toss to coat each leaf with the garlicky, gingery oil.

And speaking of oil, whenever one of those high school kids falls asleep in my limo on prom night, you wouldn't believe the amount of grease their face leaves on my leather interior! Amazing, really.

Stay safe, kids.

In The Middle Of The Night / I Go Walking In My Sleep / From The Mountains Of Faith / To The Rivers So Deep / I Must Be Looking For Something / Something Sacred I Lost / But The River Is Wide / And It's Racist Appliances

Two EADJ Crappinema Alumni Updates

Any of the twenty or so movies that's had the misfortune of being reviewed on the EADJ Crappinema still holds a special place in our hearts, long after we've given it a cinematic ass-whipping. Such is the case for two past movie gems:

You can read the EADJ Crappinema review of "Happy The Littlest Bunny" here and the review of "Unbeatable Harold" here.

And the upcoming review of "Frankenhood" is still a work in progress. Soon.

A Special Pre-Valentines Day Message From Cement Bird

Cement Bird, as some of you might remember, can only communicate through shitty FWD emails.



----- Forwarded Message ----
From: cialis@2934.kadsf.tv
To: mailinglist@mindspring.com
Sent: Mon, January 9, 2012 9:28:55 PM
Subject: Fw: [Fwd: INSPIRING PHOTOS!!!!!]

THIS IS WONDERFUL. GREAT PICTURES AND GREAT ADVICE.
The irony of these beautiful photos is that we may never have seen them if the artist hadn't died prematurely at age 57 when his plane crashed on February 6th, 2010.
Carlos Alberto was from Mendoza, Peru, one of the provinces next to the Andes. absolutely magnificent photos
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Hotmail: Free, trusted and rich email service. Get it now. =

A Letter To the Mead Corporation, Sent Today

Dear Mead Corporation:

I just wanted to notify you of a possible misuse of your corporate identity. The (awful) country music album "Brand New Day" by CNN newsanchor Robin Meade has used a typeface on her name on the cover, making her name appear similar to your corporate logo. You can see what I mean at this link: http://twitpic.com/7acflw/full
You should contact your legal department.







Editor's Note: Special thanks to my designer friend Diego for pointing this out, thus earning him a special custom "Robin Meade" Mollusk Award (scroll to the bottom).

How To Test the Limits of Your Friendships

Pictured below, in the back of any copy of Playbill, an ad for a binder that holds dozens of your old Playbills so you can brag to your friends about how many Broadway shows you've seen:



Here is an imagined reaction of any friend who is given this binder to look through:

"Oh. Neat. 'Hairspray.' You've seen 'Hairspray?' Cool. Do what? It's not on Broadway anymore? That's a shame. Oh, it's only playing in London now? Wow... Oh, so here's a Playbill for 'Jersey Boys.' Yeah, wow. They do a bunch of Frankie Valli songs? That's really something. 'Mamma Mia,' yeah. I've heard about that, and I heard the movie... oh? The show is way better than the movie? Oh, okay. I gotta check that out. Excuse me for one second."

(cocks shotgun, points it at head, pulls the trigger with big toe)

I Love Brooklyn

No, that's not a snarky or ironic headline. I do love Brooklyn. And here's another example why:

Yesterday, it was a beautiful sunny day, so J'Net and I headed out to some Red Hook Arts Festival on the water. But when we got to our car, we heard this really loud hip hop music playing. Right then, a rented U-Haul van drove by with its back doors wide open. From the back were two gentlemen in tuxedos and shades, lip synching to the rap song as some guy with a big film camera shot them from a shitty Toyota following the van. And the two rappers were throwing fake money all along the street.

Now, if there were such a thing as DavidCam, this is what you would have seen during this episode:

1) CU shot of me messing with my car keys. SFX: Loud hip hop music.

2) Medium shot from door handle to U-Haul van with hip hop guys, cameraman in Toyota.

3) Camera swing-pans over to J'Net, who is expressionless.

4) Camera swing-pans over to van and Toyota, disappearing around the corner.

But once in the car, we were lucky enough to have caught up with the filming crew. J'Net snapped this shot of them between takes:

A Late Smecial Dreams Entry

"So, I was dating Brian Urlacher... and he just had his neck/back surgery and we were making out in a pool. He said "Oh my neck hurts," and I say, "Oh poor baby," and we kind of made out. Then he started cheating on me, and never called me again. That blew."
-Jessica Foster