Here is our new lovable friend, Cement Bird. Cement Bird likes to share the latest jokes, facts, and general useful info that it gets in its email inbox. Let's get started, shall we? Take it away, Cement Bird!
To: Barbara Howell ; Barbara Thompson ; Brenda Sheehan ; Margo Helms ; Dot Wagner ; Gladys Jone ; Gloria Massey ; Harold Macy ; Helen Darcy ; Janice Mickelson ; Jean Weigright ; Laverne Finch ; Linda Brown ; Linda Duncan ; Lisa Samantha ; Marcia Weeks ; rickandjudy@xbbtel.net ; Sandra Hargrove ; Sara Fickner ; Teri Bakertown ; Vivian Wellsley
Sent: Thursday, June 24, 2010 7:28 PM
Subject: FW: Lie Detector
This is a hoot and you will laugh! Garanteed!
THE LIE DETECTOR
John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change..
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy.
The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied.
We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair..
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.
Robin
----------The New Busy think 9 to 5 is a cute idea. Combine multiple calendars with Hotmail. Get busy.----------
HAHAHHAA! That is a good joke, Cement Bird! Keep 'em coming!
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Wow. Those are some really interesting facts, Cement Bird! Thanks for sharing that!
----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Claire
Cc: Robert and Jean
Sent: Wed, June 23, 2010 10:38:56 PM
Subject: Fw: The Hotel bill....
>>>>>>>>>My wife and I were travelling by car from Victoria
>>>>>>>> to Prince George.After
>>>>>>>almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to
>>>>>>>> continue, and decide
>>>>>>>to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four
>>>>>>>> hours and then get
>>>>>>>back on the road. When we checked out four hours later,
>>>>>>>> the desk clerk
>>>>>>>handed us a bill for $350.00.
>>>>>>>I explode and demand to
>>>>>>>> know why the charge is so high.I tell the clerk
>>>>>>>although it's a nice hotel;
>>>>>>>> the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00
>>>>>>>Then the clerk tells me that
>>>>>>>> $350.00 is the 'standard rate'.
>>>>>>>I insisted on speaking to the
>>>>>>>> Manager.
>>>>>>>The Manager appears, listens to me, and then explains that the
>>>>>>>> hotel has an
>>>>>>>Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were
>>>>>>>> available for us
>>>>>>>to use.
>>>>>>>'But we didn't use them.
>>>>>>>''Well, they
>>>>>>>> are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager.
>>>>>>>He goes on to
>>>>>>>> explain we could also have taken in one of the shows for which
>>>>>>>the hotel is
>>>>>>>> famous.
>>>>>>>'We have the best entertainers from New York, Hollywood, and Las
>>>>>>>> Vegas
>>>>>>>perform here,' the Manager says.
>>>>>>>'But we didn't go to any of those
>>>>>>>> shows,' .
>>>>>>>'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager
>>>>>>>> replies.
>>>>>>>No matter what amenity the Manager mentions, I reply,'But
>>>>>>>> we didn't use
>>>>>>>it!'
>>>>>>>The Manager is unmoved, and eventually I gave up
>>>>>>>> and agreed to pay.
>>>>>>>I write a cheque and give it to the Manager.
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. 'But sir,'
>>>>>>>> 'this
>>>>>>>cheque is only made out for $50.00.
>>>>>>>''That's correct" I
>>>>>>>> replied "as I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my
>>>>>>>wife.'
>>>>>>>'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
>>>>>>>'Well, that's
>>>>>>>> too bad, she was here, and you could have.'
----- End Message ----
Oh HAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAA, Cement Bird! That is a good one! Did that really happen? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH HAHAHAHHAHAH HAHHAHAHAHHAHAH HAHAHAHHAHAHHA HAHAHHAHAHA
What?
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