This is CNN

Pictured above, Lincoln gets its damn media buy's worth by driving all over CNN news.

 

An IM Convo

I got this IM from Tom Weingard (note the shitty AT&T reception in fucking Manhattan):

 

Here's the link he sent.

 

I didn't get around to telling Tom that the Scott Peterson we do a bit about isn't the murdering Scott Peterson.

 

So for getting the wrong Peterson wrong twice removed– through no fault of his own because he's never met the non-short, non-fat (?), non-murderer Scott Peterson from Chicago– I think Tom should win some sort of award or something. Like the inverse of a Golden Mollusk Award.

So at the bottom of this page, we have bestowed upon him the first Kevlar Portuguese Man Of War Award, which at pawn shops can command an impressive $15. Congrats, Tom!

A Letter To the Mead Corporation, Sent Today

Dear Mead Corporation:

I just wanted to notify you of a possible misuse of your corporate identity. The (awful) country music album "Brand New Day" by CNN newsanchor Robin Meade has used a typeface on her name on the cover, making her name appear similar to your corporate logo. You can see what I mean at this link: http://twitpic.com/7acflw/full
You should contact your legal department.







Editor's Note: Special thanks to my designer friend Diego for pointing this out, thus earning him a special custom "Robin Meade" Mollusk Award (scroll to the bottom).

DENIED AGAIN

CNN's Robin Meade's solo country album, as mentioned in this blog before, is still sold out at Target. Come on, Target stockpersons!


And I sure as hell am not going to just buy her album from iTunes. I want to enjoy the CD sleeve art.

I Must Have This Album

In Target, I spotted a familiar face on the CD display.


Is that Robin Meade from CNN? The pretty, perky anchor and sometimes morning host who somehow wears too much makeup? With an album?


Why, yes it is.


And I guess someone told her she can sing, because there's a whole album of her country songs. Unfortunately, there were NO CDS AVAILABLE in the racks, so I had to just press the button to hear Robin's tunes. And what I heard sounded like a donkey/cat hybrid violating a truckload of mis-tuned violins.



I MUST OWN THIS ALBUM. This is unfortunately a Target Exclusive, so I have to go back to check if they restocked it next week.

Soon, my dear Robin, soon. Your donkey/cat hybrid voice will be mine to crank from my Prius.

Side note: Is it just me, or does that song sound like The Eagles' "Life In The Fast Lane?"

Side side note: Duh. That's a Don Henley cover song. No wonder. I never made that connection that the two songs were similar.

"CNN is Now For 12 Year Olds."

That's a quote from my wife. And she's right.
This is on CNN.com's front page:


For mo' better news, go to

BBC
Real Clear Politics (thanks, John Reid!)
and even Google News which compiles different sources.

(My favorite dinosaur is the nonexistent Brontosaurus, btw)

Oh, Fuck You, CNN.

(pictured above, live breaking news)

EADJ NEWS REPORT: WE HAVE CONTACT!!!

(AP) Two EADJ agents received a communication via email at 12:09 pm Eastern Time (ET) from who appears to be Jerald Johnson himself. This was the message (some names have been xxx'd out for their protection) :

----------

David,

The Legend Lives. I cooked Knockwurst, Saurerkruat, and Potatoes a few days ago.

A buddy name Lxxxxx told me about WAYN (where are you now) and I believe other friends including Pastor Xxxxx Xxxxx are a part of this. Its a website for those like me who travel and want to know more information about the places we are traveling to.

Free lunch sounds good!

Regards,
Jerald


-----Original Message-----
From: David Estoye
To: Tom Weingard ; Justin Hxxxxx
Cc: Txxxxx ; Jerald Johnson
Sent: Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:20 am
Subject: Re: Jerald found!

Where can we get bratwursts and Kronenberg?

----------

Electronic handwriting analysts and IT specialists are currently checking the authenticity of this letter, since it could be some sort of prank or joke which would break our hearts. Stay tuned for the latest developments to EADJ, America's #1 source for Jerald news and updates.

Let's Sign the EADJ Mail Sack Up for a Karaoke Song That It Doesn't Know the Words To, So It Totally Embarasses Itself!

Submitted by J'Net, a totally grody note by some wedding shoe store:


"If shoes are returned with ANY signs of toe marks, the shoes will be considered unsellable and will be returned without refund or exchange.

As a precaution, consider washing your feet prior to trying on these new shoes, especially if you have been outdoors wearing open toe shoes."

What kind of pigfucking hillbillies are getting married these days? Wait, don't answer that, I know. The same kind who are stealing all the headlines from the CNN front page. Dumb toothless pregnant a-hole celebrity jack-fucks.