The ProofrEADJer: End of June Edition

What do you call a chicken without any I's?

Please do not push Michael Buble.

Some New Movie Ideas Based On Subway Sandwich Names

Having used up every last comic book source material for a blockbuster movie script, the script writers of all the major studios have turned to the next logical resource: the menu at Subway. Here now are the latest greenlit projects movie fans can look forward to next year:

The Philly, The Outlaw, and The Monster

This hardboiled trilogy directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon begins a desperate young burglar (Keke Palmer) in Philadelphia who joins forces with a crime boss (Tyler Perry) to take down a serial killer (Kevin Bacon) who's been targeting criminals.

"Supreme Meats" starring Billy Eichner and Mos Def

This musical comedy follows two employees at Tyson Foods who quit their job to make music in a nearby warehouse, much to the chagrin of their former boss (Eva Longoria).

"The Great Garlic" produced by Robert Zemeckis

This CG animated adventure takes place entirely in the pantry of a food vlogger features the voice talents of T.I., Rebel Wilson, Anna Faris, Steve Carell, and Michael B. Jordan. Also featuring Florence Pugh as the voice of Balsamic Vinegar.

"Turkey Cali Club" starring Jonah Hill, Jurnee Smollett, Jay Pharaoh and Pete Davidson

The Long Beach dance club scene gets a much needed boost when some young entrepreneurs buy every club on Pine Avenue to form one giant club. Tim Heidecker plays the police officer responding to a noise complaint every fifteen minutes.

In The Middle Of The Night / I Go Walking In My Sleep / From The Mountains Of Faith / To The Rivers So Deep / I Must Be Looking For Something / Something Sacred I Lost / But The River Is Wide / And It's Racist Appliances

Spotted In A Cheap Hotel In Europe (Don't Ask)

An Imperial Stormtrooper has no frickin' idea who he's messing with.

Hey, Look.

My favorite electronic duo from the 90's.

Introducing: ClearPlay!

I found this flyer in a Methodist Church in North Carolina:


Wow, I can edit sex, violence, AND profanity on regular DVD's? Especially if I feel like the MPAA Ratings Board isn't doing a good enough job of warning me of objectionable content? You mean, I can protect my family's Christian values while still getting to enjoy "Happy Gilmore" without all the tits and swearing? Yes, worry no more with the Prudemaster9000™.

Possibly the best part of the flyer are the "customer comments:"

Click the photo to enlarge or click here.


Gayla (not a stripper name) from Summerfield said, "I requested a filter for "Get Shorty" a while ago and was excited to see it on a new filter list. Thank you so much!"

Hey, Gayla. Uh, I hate to break it to you, but "Get Shorty" isn't all that nasty a movie. And if your kids can't handle the word "shit" or "fuck" like three times in a movie, maybe you should have to wait FOURTEEN YEARS until you can watch it. And maybe in 2025 you can enjoy its sequel, "Be Cool."

So on the ClearPlay website, they show a list of the movies that have been successfully filtered for Jesus. Amazingly, the Kirk Cameron Christian blockbuster "Fireproof" is on that list! What could possibly be on there that ClearPlay found objectionable? I guess they edited out the big cunnilingus scene. Too bad.


It does make me wonder what would happen if you tried watching "The Sopranos" or "Caligula" on that player. Maybe it would implode or shoot the DVDs at your throat. I'm just glad that "No" from "No Location" was finally allowed to watch "Daddy Day Care" without that black man's dirty mouth!

Let's Ask the EADJ Mail Sack To Speak To Their Manager!

Submitted by Bill Dow: "Awesome."

Coming Soon to the EADJ Crappinema: All The Kind Strangers

Shit, why review a blandly titled TV movie where the biggest stars are Stacy Keach and Robby Benson?!


HERE'S why:



Sold!