Let's Tighten Both Ends of the EADJ Mail Sack!

 Submitted by Andrew Gall:

"My friend ANDY WESTBROCK used a photo of ugly Andrew Gall in all agency presentation announcing that I won the Oscar pool"

In appreciation of this excellent Photoshop job, EADJ proudly announces that ANDY WESTBROCK has been awarded the second-ever Onyx Mollusk Award. His name is now proudly displayed at the bottom of this page.

Congratulations, ANDY WESTBROCK!

New (Beta) EADJ Segment: Can We Cut The Shit?

Can we cut the shit?

Can we stop showing fake-ass families in commercials, where the mom and dad are obviously 20-something models who've never even fed a baby, much less raised a kid? Can we stop pretending that they haven't just met each other 10 minutes before shooting and that their awkwardness shows through CLEARLY in the footage?

Can we cut the shit?

John The Originator

Sometime late 2006:

John Reid: Joel made a blog mocking you.

Me: Oh yeah?

John Reid: You should make a blog.

TEN YEARS and 3,237 posts later...

We humbly and gratefully award John Reid the Mollusk Award for his major contribution in getting this decade-spanning inside joke off the ground. Thank you John. His award is listed at the bottom of this page. Finally.

A Rear Entry

Submitted by Emily Kane via text at 7:38pm last night:

"SFVOSP!! Couldn't get frontal. Deal with it."

Although this does not earn Emily another Mollusk Award to accompany her Platinum Mollusk Award at the bottom of this page, she is commended for her late night diligence stalking the tunnels of her former employer, Unnamed Organization.

It's Racist Appliances Time!

 

A Letter To the Mead Corporation, Sent Today

Dear Mead Corporation:

I just wanted to notify you of a possible misuse of your corporate identity. The (awful) country music album "Brand New Day" by CNN newsanchor Robin Meade has used a typeface on her name on the cover, making her name appear similar to your corporate logo. You can see what I mean at this link: http://twitpic.com/7acflw/full
You should contact your legal department.







Editor's Note: Special thanks to my designer friend Diego for pointing this out, thus earning him a special custom "Robin Meade" Mollusk Award (scroll to the bottom).

A True Story

Barry, a guy I've known since Portfolio School in Atlanta, who also happens to live two blocks down from me AND is a co-worker one floor from me (Jeez, back OFF man) was recently given the green light by his allergist that he could eat mollusks. So last weekend he enjoyed some, but within a couple of hours, he was already feeling queasy.


Barry turned to the Internet and Googled the phrase "i get sick every time I eat mollusks," and sure enough, the twentieth entry was EAT A DICK JOEL!


Eat A Dick Joel has decided to award Barry the Jade Mollusk Award for coming across EADJ totally randomly by using a phrase with "mollusk" in it. Barry's new award is at the bottom of this page. Congrats, Barry! Put this on your resume!