Wednesday, September 6, 2023

More Mall Kiosks And What Their Attendants Are Probably Thinking


Annabel at the Girl Scout Cookie kiosk in the Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg, IL

• Fuck, I think I tore my ACL.
• My daughter better appreciate that I'm selling these for her.


Devin at the iRepair Expert kiosk in Pacific Place in Seattle, WA

• I'll need to sell 300 more phone cases to make rent this month.
• I bet I could pee my pants and no one would notice.


Hamza at the Soccer International kiosk in The Mall at Millenia in Orlando, FL

• If someone stabbed me in the chest with a CapriSun straw, could they drink my blood?
• I know all the words to Aerosmith's "Walk This Way". I wish someone would ask me to recite it all.


Tina at the TOYZ kiosk in the Russellville City Mall at Millenia in Russellville, AR

• This "Dune 2" movie is terrific.
• Wait, how many hours have I been away from the kiosk?


Dante at the Detroit Fragrance Company kiosk in the Grand Teton Mall at Millenia in Idaho Falls, ID

• My roommate better have folded the common area futon by the time I get home.
• I could take pretty much any man in this mall.

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