- I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can’t afford one. So, I’m wearing my garage door opener.
- I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.
- You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn’t like me anyway.
- I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
- I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it ‘Pumping Rust’.
- I’ve gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That’s when your chest is falling into your drawers!
- When people see a cat’s litter box, they always say, ‘Oh, have you got a cat?’ Just once I want to say, ‘No, it’s for company!’
- Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, ‘A Good Doctor’!
- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.
- As for me, I’m just hoping God grades on the curve.
- Enjoy Your Days & Love Your Life, Because Life is a journey to be savored.
- Gentle Thoughts for Today -
- Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then poop on your car.
- A penny saved is a government oversight.
- The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
- The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
- He who hesitates is probably right.
- Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
- The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble..
- Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs…’
- Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
- Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
- When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
- One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
- Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth .
- . … AMEN
