1) Not all white monkeys at the zoo take care of little black monkeys. That would be fucked up.
2) Not always a NEW adventure. If you're been to the zoo in the past three weeks, it's the same damn adventure. The question is, why are you coming back to the zoo so soon after visiting the first time?
3) "The belly flops and underwater flips entertain all ages." That's a lie. Any kid between 14-19 would rather crush candy or flip Angry Birds or whatever the fuck.
4) The ski-lift thingie isn't NEARLY as fun as these two enthusiastic people will have you believe.
5) Not closed only on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Day. They're also closed on Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Holy Shit A Lion Has Escaped And Has Mauled 14 People Day
6) Dick Cheney not always there.
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