Wednesday, March 12, 2014

E-Cigarettes And The Levels Of Douchebagginess That Comes With Their Use


So you've switched from cigarettes to e-cigarettes. Great. But hold on there, buster. That doesn't necessarily make you a Renaissance man or even someone slightly more urbane. That makes you a douchebag. Here now is a guide to show you how much of a d-bag you are with your e-cigs (rated on scale from 1 to 10, with 10 being most douchey):


Arguing with a waitress that it's not a real cigarette and that you're entitled to smoke it at the diner: 8

Tapping the ash off of it "out of habit:" 7

Making some lame joke about fellating C-3PO: 4

Claiming this is your way of quitting: 3

Referring to them as "vapes:"   10


Shitting on traditional cigarette smokers for how backwards they all are: 6

Doing some prop comedy with a lighter: 3

Pulling an e-cig after sex to show how "with it" you are: 90

Waiting desperately for a cop to stop them and ask what that is they're smoking: 5

Liking and joining a "Vapes" Facebook Group:" 4

Whipping out a vape at the MMA tournament: 1000

Working and tilling the earth with nothing but the breeze to your back and a vape in your mouth: 1

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