Let's Douse The EADJ Mail Sack With Plenty Of Mineral Spirits!

Submitted by JOEL HIMSELF, a clip from "Archer" where the words "Eat a dick, jungle" are actually spoken. EADJ.



To assume that the writers of "Archer" read this blog is about as presumptuous as assuming that CBS 2 News' Lonnie Quinn reads this blog. Which he does.

***THIS JUST IN*** The EADJ Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index REFERENCED On CBS 2 News!

Submitted by J'Net, actual video of the 2/26 CBS News Weather Broadcast where Maurice DuBois (it means "of wood") and Lonnie Quinn actually reference the "Lonnie Quinn Sleeve-o-meter!"

Fast forward to the end of his forecast at 2:10 if you don't believe me:




(Video no longer available. Dammit.)




Transcript

Maurice: We'll keep an eye on the sleeve, the jacket, and all that.

Lonnie Quinn: That's right. Watch the Sleeve-o-monitor… the Sleeve-o-meter!




Holy shit. That can only mean that CBS 2 News has read the entries about the Lonnie Quinn-dex on EADJ and are referencing THIS VERY BLOG!!!!

No, really. Even if they didn't call it the Lonnie Quinn-dex, a quick Google search of the misnamed "Lonnie Quinn Sleeve-o-meter" showed Eat A Dick Joel as the FIRST SEARCH RESULT.

This is huge. So Lonnie, Maurice, and Kristine, if you are reading this, hi, I'm a really big fan of your newscast, and if one of you would utter the phrase "Eat A Dick Joel" on the air, I'd really appreciate it.

And please tell Alice Gainer I'm sorry I called her a homewrecker.

Severe Winter Weather Hits… And We Report Its Effect On Lonnie Quinn's Sleeves

The following observations were made today to further test EADJ's Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index :when severe weather is about to take place, the condition of handsome weatherman Lonnie Quinn's wardrobe is a reliable indicator of how much shit is about to hit the fan.

Earlier today, the National Weather Service released a Winter Storm Warning alert to take effect from now until 6am EST Wednesday. With more than 1.500 flights canceled in area airports, early school closings and already a foot of snow on the ground, it is almost certain that Lonnie Quinn's wardrobe has been effected. Let's check in:

Stay tuned to this blog for the latest on Lonnie Quinn's condition and how he changes as the inches get deeper.

The Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index: ATTENTION: EVERYTHING IS OKAY

Severe thunderstorms and even a hurricane warning graced the tristate area on Monday, and CBS 2 News had it covered like always. We kept close tabs on the Lonnie Quinn Sleeve Index, as has been well documented on this blog.

And just for the hell of it, here is some caption fun with Maurice DuBois (it means "of wood:")

Stay tight!

The Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index, Revisited

During Hurricane Superstorm Sandy, we introduced you to the phenomenon of "The Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index," an unorthodox but reliable measure of the seriousness of a weather forecast based on the condition of CBS New York Channel 2's meterologist Lonnie Quinn's shirt sleeves.

Since that November storm, there have been the occasional thunderstorm and bouts of heavy precipitation. But Lonnie had not adjusted his sleeves until February 8, when several feet of snow were predicted to fall. Here now is a breakdown of that night's coverage:

The Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index

As a regular viewer of CBS New York Channel 2 News, I've noticed a certain trend with handsome weatherman Lonnie Quinn: when a major storm or meteorological event is about to take place, the condition of Lonnie Quinn's wardrobe is a reliable indicator of how much shit is about to hit the fan. The following is a real-time documentation of how Lonnie Quinn's wardrobe reacted to the events unfolding with Hurricane Sandy in the past week. To help quantify Lonnie Quinn's sartorial decline, we've created a "Quinndex" indicator, which measures in Lonns/hour, or 56 Megahandsomes/Wearhouse.

The hours leading up to Hurricane Sandy were tense and uncertain, and Lonnie Quinn's threads took the brunt of the strain.

Once Sandy had hit, the effect of the subsequent weather on the area was still a major concern. So a sense of order was restored, but things were not quite back to handsome.