The following is an accurate account of what Chelsea, attendant at the "Hair Styler" kiosk in the Newbury Mall in Carlton, DE did while working on April 20, 2013:
• giggled while thinking about Michelle Obama's hairdo before the bangs
• gave two lost shoppers directions to the public restrooms
• fantasized about actor Bruce Greenwood again
• tried to use the word "y'all" in a sales pitch- to disastrous effect
The following is an accurate account of what Todd, attendant at the Radio Kontrol Fantasies kiosk in Jembry Mall in Jembry, AK did while working on April 26, 2013:
• texted Elmer about the tooth
• left a voicemail with Elmer, asking about the tooth
• sent Elmer an email with the subject line "re: the tooth?????"
The following is an accurate account of what Monica S, attendant at the "Braid That Shit" kiosk in the Yancey Mall in Willowville, MD did while working on the afternoon of April 27, 2013:
• counted the hours till she could masturbate again
• made a mental note to get party hats
• gave the finger to little children when their parents weren't looking
• sneaked a few Corn Pops from her drawer
The following is an accurate account of what Dominic, attendant at the "Super Cell" kiosk in Annapolis Mall in Annapolis, MD did while working on April 30, 2013:
• counted that goddamn money like it was his
• fanned himself with $400 like he was a playa
• wondered what Nicole would say if she could see him now
• tried to hide his erection from passers by
The following is an accurate account of what Chelsea, attendant at the "La Parfumerie" kiosk in the Trenton Shopping Center in Dovetail, MS did while working on May 3, 2013:
• OH SHIT WAS I SUPPOSED TO WORK TODAY
The following is an accurate account of what Kaitlyn, attendant at the "Drive and Talk" kiosk in the Massé Shopping Mall in Los Elenas, CA did while working on May 7, 2013:
• picked her ass out of her thong
• smelled her fingers after picking the thong out of her ass
• searched for Purel
The following is an accurate account of what Mathilde and Céline, attendantes at the "Candie Hoo Hoo" kiosk in the Waisyll Mall in Quebec, Canada did while working on May 13, 2013:
• called their universal healthcare provider to make sure their information was up to date
• resumed that eternal debate about milk chocolate versus dark chocolate
• discussed Lumiere from "Beauty and the Beast"
• compared/adjusted their bras
• conjugated irregular verbs for the hell of it
The following is an accurate account of what Dark Raven, attendant at the unnamed iPhone case kiosk in the Maxie's Shopping Center in Milwaukee, WI did while working on May 21, 2013:
• wrote more bad goth poetry
• conjured a malignancy curse against her parents and that new asshole substitute teacher
• beat her score on Subway Surfers
• planned her suicide on the new Wunderlist app
The following is an accurate account of what Gilhük, attendant at
the Centrum+ Zdravi kiosk in the Gukksenschaverhaalmaart in Dresden, Germany did while working on May 25, 2013:
• tillhöpped the fluggenschiedder
• Îngenhappfed the übersvekkenungenst
• åchfreigged her Brachenschioostentrakenskrågger
The following is an accurate account of what Misti and Kristi, attendants at
the "Baked Kindness" kiosk in the Mall of Southern Maine in Bangor, ME will do while working on May 29, 2013:
• bitch about not getting to sit on stools
• make lame jokes with the word "bundt"
• vomit at separate times, although neither of them is bulimic
• pretend to be besties even though they hate each other
• discuss pets and the need for them
• play that game that guys play where you make the other person look at the ring you made with your fingers and then fuck their boyfriend when they're out of town... that's how the game goes, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment