Monday, May 13, 2013

Fashion Is Never Out Of Style. Whatever The Fuck That Means.

The wandering nomad is prepared for the desert, even when just popping over to Jamba Juice for an Apple 'N Greens smoothie.

iPhone + caramel latte = pussy

 but

Russian hat + tattoo = Russian mafia


I still need more info to make a judgment here.

"Can I borrow your grease pencil? I need to express surprise."

Although Derek's garage band made it on SPIN Magazine's "50 Must Hear Bands at SXSW" and even had a song featured on "Grey's Anatomy," his father still wanted him to get a "real" job. 

Here's a tip. If you're a young single girl trying to make it in the big city with nothing but a little bit of pluck and a stride in your step, get the fuck away from me because that shit is fucking tiresome.


We get it. You treasure the infrequent times you get to escape your boring job at the American Academy of Pediatrics to go on the black diamonds at ski resorts in the Poconos. But take some of those lift passes off before you blind a dwarf.

Even white boys gotta shout.

"Green hoodie, check. Green sunglasses, check. Wait, WHITE iPhone earbuds? No, that just ruins the whole outfit. Why would I even get dressed in the morning if the balance was all thrown off?! Okay, there. GREEN iPhone earbuds. Time to step out."

Stet. No change needed.  If you're confident enough to walk Park Avenue like it's a runway with TWO bags off the same shoulder, far be it from me to harsh your fabulous.

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