This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness, Week of September 29

The level of detail here is staggering. Still, I don't know what the shit is going on.

I see him! He's right there under "Irrelevant MCs."

Each vinyl figure is $300. You think I'm kidding.

Big Smokes waited in the Champagne Room for 45 minutes and started to realize the stripper stood him up.

I'm half tempted to blow on this CD, pop it into my system and play it until my mother grounds me.

It's one thing to pass a kidney stone. But this guy shits out a whole burning planet.

Show me your tits and I'll give you this LV knockoff duffle I got from Chinatown for $30.

Read a good rap song today?

I think we've found the laziest graphic designer right here. 

(Is that a giant pile of macaroni or Spaghetti-O's?)

What happens when your Tinder date stands you up for the Satanic birth ritual without calling.

AirPods Was Stressed.

AirPods was stressed.

So was Traffic Barrel.

Ambulance smirked through his dizziness.

Towel Rack Brackets were all befuddled.

Elevator Button said, "Ooooo girl, WHO DID YOUR HAIR"

(thanks, Emily Kane!)

Potbelly Stove said the same thing.

Minion Balloon hung out with his three friends.

Office Smoke Detector swallowed a power pellet and chased some ghosts.

Old Fence Posts marched against blacks, hispanics, Catholics and mixed marriage.

Two Trashcans and A Sidewalk winked at me.

Light Switch and Doorstop acted all crazy.

And Traffic Partition asked Senator Ruth Martin, "Tell me, Senator: did you nurse Catherine yourself? Toughened your nipples, didn't it? Amputate a man's leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, mum, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?"

The ProofrEADJer: Wake Me Up When September Ends Edition

UAG

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of September 25

Twitter is what happens when you give a million attention whores a megaphone. But even they have standards when it comes to hashtags. The following are hashtags considered so dumb, awful or vapid that even the least discriminating tweeters would refuse to use these:

#smurftraitor

#pissingoregano

#monistat7drones

#Breitbartretractions

#beigeLamborghini

#steaksaucelollipops

#TeddyRuxpinweedstash

#ElvisPresleybrandtoilets

#pissandvinegarandFresca

As God is My Witness, I'll Never Be Pathmark Again.

UAG

The EADJ Fashion Roundup: New Jersey Fashion Week Edition

She's either European or stupid.

One creative way of impressing God is to use hairpins to make your hair into the shape of the filter holder on a coffee machine.

A glitch in the Matrix.

DID YOU KNOW? You can adopt Japanese-born Russian orphans at any Bank of America ATM enclosure!

"Now where's my trilby? I'm going to CVS and I don't want this ensemble to be incomplete."

Mitsurugi from the Tekken video game series has fallen on some hard times and now has a part time job handing out flyers.

This upper crust patrician from the Hunger Games strode out on the Jersey Boardwalk to watch the Districts battle for beach space.

Here I Am, Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Racist Appliances!