Come On Down and Say Goodbye To Some Stuff Marketers Want You To Say Goodbye To!

Is that Daredevil?

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! *Kiss*

My Bad.

As a kid, I had always assumed the traffic light in Mr. Rogers's house was stolen.

UAG

The ProofrEADJer: Mid-To-End of October Edition

More Unused, Terrible Porn Names

So you've arrived at the San Fernando Valley and want to get into the porn business. But your name is Robert George Ackerman III?! No, son. You need a catchy porn name. One that hasn't been claimed already. Here are some that are available for you (and your girlfriend) because they're so awful no one wants them:


HER:

Aspiri Nactress
Concertina Wire
Lexus Dealer Today
Whyeye Otta
Lesbia Lickaphiia
Anneghan Offigan
Heidi Tighty and Lefty Lucy
Facetious Comment
Kay Sadiya


HIM:

Fortnite Minecraft
Scam Likely
Otto Zone
Swole Buttman
Jack King Hoff
Zazzle Knutts
Hannibal Pecker
Papi Bagel

Here I Am, Signed, Sealed, Delivered, Racist Appliances!

Track Listing For a Kwanzaa Carols CD Written By Someone Who Knows Nothing About Kwanzaa But Has The Utmost Respect For It But Only Has The CD Cover To Go By

1) Feast?

2) 6 Pillars of Pride

3) The Red, Green and Black of It All

4) And Now We Pass The Cup

5) Salt, Fruit, and Wheat Threshings

6) Blessings of the Season (Uptown Remix)

7) What The Corn Means (What Does It Mean?)

8) Performing On Greenscreen

9) Kwanzaa: An Evening (Week?) of Reflection or Celebration or Something

10) Deck The Halls (Serious Kwanzaa Version)

11)  Light That Candle (For That Kwanzaa Flame)

UAG

6 Lies Told By The CIA Spy Exhibit Brochure

1) Not everything revealed in this exhibit has been declassified. And not everything that has been declassified is revealed in this exhibit.

2) The exhibit doesn't actually feature someone doing a soft shoe dance on the sidewalk. That's outside.

3) "Discovery: More Than a Museum." Nope. It's pretty much a museum.

4) Visitors are not encouraged to stroke the glass cases. In fact, if you're within 6 inches of a display case, an alarm goes off and you'll suddenly find yourself in a holding pen in Guantanamo Bay. You think I'm kidding?!

5) Kids who dream of becoming secret agents can only fully experience the world of espionage by selling sensitive government documents to foreign nations by way of their embassy in exchange for money or political asylum.

6) "Navigating laser beams" actually means "rolling on top of a supermarket scanner like a dumbass until it beeps."

EADJ is proud to announce that the "6 Lies Told" series is now a new college course taught at the Rio Salado College in Tempe, Arizona. The course covers everything from brochures to the six lies that each one tells in graphic detail. 

The completion of the course counts towards a degree in Dental Assisting or Law Enforcement Technology but can be also used towards a simple framed Certificate of Completion for $15.99.

Let's Try To Buff All The Scratches Out Of The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Andrew, a sign for a car museum that for some reason features a Ninja Turtle getting struck by a Chevy from the 50's, much to the delight of Speed McQueen.

And why this display was roped off, I'll never know.

A Text From Andrew

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