EADJ Fashion Round-Up: The Summer Collection

Stepping out in pajamas, crocs with socks and a toaster cozy on her head, Laura is ready for her Target run.

Showing up for jury duty doesn't have to be dull! Simone shines in a jean jacket with a confusing layer underneath that resembles caucasian skin to totally baffle the judge.

Leo regally strides across the street wearing a non-Burger-King crown atop his royal head.

Trent picks up his kid wearing this delightful camo/velour/candy sprinkle Croc ensemble.

Probably unintentional, but this fellow resembles that dumb chicken from "Moana".

The EADJ Fashion Round-Up: The Summer Airport Collection

It can't be an accident that my girl let her sparkly bra strap screaming "VICTORIA'S SECRET" in full view.

Grandma used up all the dye.

Before traveling as a group, stop by the shoe outlet to get the same pair for everyone.

Spotted at Target. A belt is a wise purchase, sir.

GOOD LORD. I thought she was Brazilian for a second there.

The TSA are just militarized Kinko's workers.

This lady was in Oakland. She blended right in.

When the school told her Monday was Pajama Day, she didn't realize it was just for HER KIDS.

Additional Puddles of New York City, Identified By Pantone Number

Previous EADJ Pantone entries here.

From winter to spring, here are the latest shades of bleh found in the city of New York, just in time for fashion week!

The EADJ Fashion Round-Up: Special Muppet Edition

Fraggles live in the tunnels below the city. This green one with a red purse is called a Kamooter.

Other Fraggles, like this furry pink Luggager, patrol the area for outsiders and free hubbacrox.

Two sushi (or sex?) workers take a break from all the hand rolling.

Another Kamooter Fraggle spotted in CVS buying Easter plates.

O, behold the Princess Wafty of the Aisles of Targé! She flits from Party Supplies to Household Essentials with a mere flick of her wrist, and her shopping cart effortlessly bounds away!

Chubby Checker.

When the Skeksis Ritual-Master isn't governing the rest of his race through prophecies and arcane rites, he likes to kick it at his local used bookstore.

The EADJ Fashion Round-Up: Le Winter Collection

One way to ensure great service at cheap-ass H&M is to wear a big ugly, turkey feather fake fur with red, white, and black coloring like a king snake.

And speaking of furs, nothing hails a cab faster than a full length fur with the Dating Game background pattern and sneaks.

There's Canadian tuxedos, and then there are entire Canadian wedding receptions.

After turning his tricycle round the corner of the Overlook Hotel's hallway, Danny was confronted by these two sinister twins, both wearing Royal Blood sweatshirts and loose garments around or near their crotch.

If your pants are made from the same fabric as those reusable grocery tote bags, of course you're going to want them super baggy—that shit is itchy AF and will HAUNT YOUR PRIVATES.

The EADJ Fashion Roundup: New Jersey Fashion Week Edition

She's either European or stupid.

One creative way of impressing God is to use hairpins to make your hair into the shape of the filter holder on a coffee machine.

A glitch in the Matrix.

DID YOU KNOW? You can adopt Japanese-born Russian orphans at any Bank of America ATM enclosure!

"Now where's my trilby? I'm going to CVS and I don't want this ensemble to be incomplete."

Mitsurugi from the Tekken video game series has fallen on some hard times and now has a part time job handing out flyers.

This upper crust patrician from the Hunger Games strode out on the Jersey Boardwalk to watch the Districts battle for beach space.

The EADJ Fashion Roundup: DOs and DON'Ts Edition

When walking by a topiary sculpture of Cthulu, DO distract him with a quiltwork cardigan sweater made from table runner swatches.

When picking up your prescription, DON’T give other patrons at Walgreens a heart attack by letting your customized t-shirt frill get tangled in your shoulder hair.

If you have an extremely skinny build and a big poof of hair, DON’T wear the color brown, because otherwise you'll look like a Pixar-rendered broom.

If you accidentally go out in public dressed like a Hooters girl, DON’T be surprised if male strangers angrily ask you why their plate of terrible wings hasn't arrived yet.

If your legs are whiter than a Republican polar bear's teeth during an iceberg Klan meeting, DO coordinate with black socks, a black shirt and some poor-fitting lime green short shorts.

The EADJ Fashion Round Up: August Edition

(Submitted by Tom Weingard) Sometimes we envy the colorblind.

Yes, there is a such thing as too much accessorizing. And I'm not just talking about the purple iPhone case.

Neutral colors like black and white always complement one's Xena Warrior Princess boots.

Gauchos in Soho? Sure, why not.

I didn't have the heart to tell this woman a GUM WRAPPER was balanced on her lap. YOU tell her.

Remember those "Magic Eye" posters from the 90s that gave you headaches? This woman does.

I know this is racist, but I swear I've never seen a black guy wear this shirt before. With CARGO SHORTS to boot!

This guy flicks his ashes at the conventional way to wear a baseball hat/use a shopping cart.