Friday, September 15, 2017

8 Fairly Recent Bruce Willis Posters, Presented In Order of Increasing Bruce Willis-ness


Movie: Vice (2012)
Bruce Willis-ness: A low, embarrassing 2. His vacant stare and loose jaw makes him look distracted by a nearby cat on the shelf licking himself. No bad-assness at all.


Movie: Vice (2015)
Bruce Willis-ness: A tepid 3. He's got the stare, but his lips aren't pursed with that sense of resolve and purpose; he almost looks constipated here.



Movie: The Prince (2014)
Bruce Willis-ness: Now you're talking! I much improved 6 here. He's staring down pieces of debris this time, mouth firm and set in the shape of a Playstation controller. Better!

Movie: Extraction (2015)
Bruce Willis-ness: We're looking at a 7 here. Bruce is in the zone now, baby! Eyes and jaw set, but without a gun his folded hands make him look like a church usher.



Movie: First Kill (2017)
Bruce Willis-ness: Another 7. Holy shit, Bruce is sharing a poster with Darth Vader! Even without a gun, he got his game face and he's rocking a law enforcement badge. Ready to kick ass.


Movie: Marauders (2016)
Bruce Willis-ness: 7.5. STILL without a gun, but this time with facial hair. Bruce clenches his jaw and is suited up to bring grief to the bad guys. Yeah, I wrote that!


Movie: Once Upon A Time In Venice (2017)
Bruce Willis-ness: A solid 9. It must be said that although the intent of a good Bruce Willis face isn't to look like a smart-ass, it's a very welcome accident. Here he looks both tough and about to say something to really piss off the substitute teacher.


Movie: A Good Day To Die Hard (2013)
Bruce Willis-ness: 10! Perfection. Leather. Gun. Scars. Game face with a touch of smart-ass, SIDE LIT by motherfucking flames! Too bad the movie is 100% shit.

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