Retail Loyalty Programs!

With the success of loyalty programs like California Pizza Kitchen's Pizza Dough and My Starbucks, lots of other chains are looking to keep customers coming back with their own custom programs. Join these new loyalty clubs:

Delta Airlines Masochists
Cheesecake Factory Fat Fucks
Petsmart Turdhandlers Elite
Whole Foods Insufferable Soccer Moms
Supercuts Nicked Ear Club
Hobby Lobby Homophobic Sewing Circle
Ticketmaster Enablers
Yankee Candle's La Cosa Nostril
Hooters Eligible Bachelor Pad
Restoration Hardware Pewter Addicts
Sephora Lyin' Bitches
Lids Douchebag Rewards