And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How to Host A Video Meeting on Zoom

Zoom meetings have become a vital part of work life now that the world is dealing with the Covid-19 pandemic. Here's how you can host your own video meeting on the popular and now essential app:

If you do not have the Zoom app installed, go to zoom.us and select "Host a Meeting" to start the installation. If you DO have the App installed, see below.

1) Open your Zoom app on your desktop and click Sign In.

2) Log in using the E-mail and password that you have created, or with Google(Gmail), Facebook, or Login with SSO. 

3) Click the downward arrow and select Start with video, then click New Meeting to start an instant meeting.

And speaking of "instant", if you're ever riding in my limo and want to make some coffee, go ahead and help yourself to the coffeemaker. But please don't leave a friggin' mess for me to clean up hours later. Do you know how hard it is to get real cream out of floor mats? Be safe, kids.

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of August 13, 2014

Here is a hungry list of rarely used hashtags in the Twittersphere. "Hungry?!" I meant stupid.

#humbleselfie

#scrotaltattoo

#vaginaldepthmatters

#familymatters

#avalanchesharks

#freddurstrestaurant

#opencarrycompton

#sandwichartiste

#cummingfortomatoes

#barbaraboxerflingingpoo

#thatoldmeganfoxcharm

#curlzmtextraboldcondensed

#sincerefacebookbirthdaywishes

#enjoyingtotaleclipseoftheheartunironically

6 Lies Told By The Shenandoah Caverns Family Of Attractions Brochure

1) The CIA has a second cavern with elevator service in Langley for "interrogation purposes," but the 

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2) "Cardross Castle" isn't so much a castle as it is a stinking heap of fossilized bat guano.

3) The Bacon Formations, although they really are made with bacon, unfortunately taste like Canadian ham when you lick the cave walls.

4) If you let your child enjoy our featured INDOOR BEEHIVE, your name is entered in the Child Protection Service database, coincidentally located in Langley, Virginia. INDOOR BEEHIVE, people.

5) The animatronic brown bears don't really "greet" guests, unless your definition of "greeting" is "mauling the elderly with their heavy, unstoppable metal claws."

6) Cinderella's Carriage is actually Snow White's; she lent it to her but never got it back after Cinderella moved to Fairfax to be closer to her mother.

EADJ is proud to announce that 6 Lies Told, in conjunction with Mattel, Inc., will be released as limited edition collector's Matchbox cars. Feel the fury of all six different lies as they race across your dining room table and into your kids' hearts! Some assembly required.

EADJ Fashion Roundup: Suspicious Character Edition

IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING. LIKE IF YOU SEE WHAT COULD BE AN OPERATIVE OF A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION LIKE COBRA COMMANDER, PLEASE REPORT IT TO THE POLICE.

I don't want to sound racist, but if you're gonna wear a yarmulke and those 180s ear warmers, why not just cover your entire head with a sombrero?

 High heeled sneakers are wildly impractical, but at least they look great, right? No.

Here a suspicious character, possibly a secret agent or government operative, works on decoding a message.

I used my FBI training to surreptitiously zoom in on what he was holding without being detected, using my "iPhone," I perpetrated like I was talkin'.

What is he holding? Launch codes? A schematic for a maxiumum security alarm system?

Oh. A Sudoku. And an easy one, if you ask me. What kind of government operative can't complete a simple Sudoku? Idiot.