A Peek Into the Dark Mind of Obsession

So Andrew says Megan is obsessed with gorillas. EADJ sat down with Andrew and Megan for more information about her gorilla fetish. (Note: Some of these answers are fabricated to spice up the article.)

How did it start? Andrew: When Megan watched "Gorillas in the Mist," starring Sigourney Weaver.

What did she like about them? Andrew: She liked that they were gentle, misunderstood creatures.

Do gorillas eat dick? Andrew: Only if it was vegetarian dick. Or a banana in the shape of a dick. Or a dick in the shape of a banana.

So what Gorilla merchandise has she purchased? Andrew: A few books, a Valentine's Day stuffed gorilla. Also, Megan stole a copy of National Geographic because it had a feature about gorillas in it. Plus she stabbed a guy on the bus for no reason, just like a gorilla would. My name is Andrew. I wipe from the front.

Has Megan ever touched a gorilla? Megan: No

Can you imagine what it would be like? Megan: My dream is to hold hands with a gorilla.

Do you pretend that Andrew's a gorilla when you hold hands? Megan: Andrew does a good gorilla impression when holding hands. But he farts like a bull, and it sets me off on another serious stabbing rampage. My name is Megan and I once punched a horse in the nuts, cowboy-style.

Anything else you'd like to add about gorillas? Megan: We need to save the mountain gorillas, cuz there are only around 200 left.