Looks Legit

Pictured above, spotted in Milburn, New Jersey, what looks to be a woodland animal kidnapper van.

UAG

Some Movie Ideas Based On The Hardware Section of Walgreen's

Now having mined every comic book, board game, and shitty young adult novel for feature film ideas, major Hollywood studios have no alternative than to turn to the hardware section of Walgreen's rather than come up with some original script ideas. 

Here now are four major, major releases given the green light to shoot in Leavenworth Studios in England, all for 20th Century Fox who have paid a premium for exclusive rights:

"Wipe New" starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Channing Tatum

In the year 2098, your memories don't matter- they get "wiped" and replaced by newer, better ones. Two memory technicians discover how to alter the machines to give themselves pretty terrible childhood memories of going to the beach in Virginia. WIPE NEW.

"Tub Stopper" starring Lou Taylor Pucci, Quvenzhané Wallis and Gemma Arterton

From the makers of "Chumscrubber" and "Thumbsucker," "Tub Stopper" follows the travails of a college dropout who tries to find meaning in his pottery painting class. Garry Shandling plays the reluctant instructor!

"Over The Door Hooks" starring Jamie Bell, Chris Evans and Blake Lively

Three attractive CIA operatives wage war against a Red Roof Inn manager who they believe to be an Al Qaeda operative. Rosie Perez makes an appearance as herself.

"100 Watt Inverter" starring Tommy Lee Jones, Cedric the Entertainer and Emma Stone

Directed by Wes Anderson. Different actors put on different funny hats and deliver stilted but charming dialogue. Everything is shot symmetrically. Soundtrack by Mark Mothersbaugh zzzzzzzzzzzz

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of January 6

The following Twitter hashtags have been determined to be the least influential of the week- not going viral, not creating buzz, and certainly not trending. Feel free to use any of these on your non-influential Twitter feeds!

#bangshortbus

#crackpipecoozy

#carrottopsecondact

#collegetextbookbargains

#crackerasscrackercracker

#ablowjobfromGaryBusey

#FullHousebingewatching

#childprotectiveservicesselfie

#StPaulisthecenteroftheuniverse

#GeorgeClooneywasthebestBatman

#hereismysocialsecuritynumber457-55-5462

New Corporate ID Makeovers For 2015

With a new year comes new corporate rebranding efforts and identity updates. Here now are the most recent ID changes within the Fortune 500:

CosbyCo is now Roof-E Enterprises.

DC Comics is now Marvel 2 (or Marvel, Too!)

Ticketmaster had a simple name and logo update.

UPS also had a simple name and logo update.

And E! Channel decided to get honest.

EADJ: The Year 2014 In Review

So Google+ took a bunch of photos off of EADJ from the past year and generated a nice compilation video set to some 80s German electro.

I'm sure Google+'s original intent was to compile some nice photos of family and friends, etc., but this EADJ video is just a long parade of useless crap:

Crap in, crap out, right? Crap blog.

NEW YEAR'S PROJECT! Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Build Your Own Composting Toilet

Building a composting toilet is actually quite easy.  With some simple tools and some elbow grease, you can quickly convert your turds into compost for your garden. Here's how to build a composting toilet in time for your evening constitution:

1) Build a hinged toilet box 18" wide and 21" long. Get two boards 3/4"X10"X18" and two 3/4"X10"X19.5". Get two hinges. Get one piece of 3/4"X18"X18" plywood and one 3/4"X3"X18". Hinge the two pieces of plywood together.

2) Cut a hole in the larger piece of plywood to fit the top of a 5 gallon toilet receptacle. Make sure the hole is only 1.5" back from the front edge of the plywood. Always use identical receptacles in a composting toilet so they will all fit correctly. Buy a standard toilet seat.

3) Mark holes on the box for the toilet seat as you fit it in place. Drill the holes and attach!

And speaking of "attach," when hiring one of my limos for a trip, please don't show up and request that I tow a trailer or mount a luggage rack on top. I have a corporate image to maintain, folks. Stay safe, kids.