Now having mined every comic book, board game, and shitty young adult novel for feature film ideas, major Hollywood studios have no alternative than to turn to the hardware section of Walgreen's rather than come up with some original script ideas.
Here now are four major, major releases given the green light to shoot in Leavenworth Studios in England, all for 20th Century Fox who have paid a premium for exclusive rights:
"Wipe New" starring Maggie Gyllenhaal and Channing Tatum
In the year 2098, your memories don't matter- they get "wiped" and replaced by newer, better ones. Two memory technicians discover how to alter the machines to give themselves pretty terrible childhood memories of going to the beach in Virginia. WIPE NEW.
"Tub Stopper" starring Lou Taylor Pucci, Quvenzhané Wallis and Gemma Arterton
From the makers of "Chumscrubber" and "Thumbsucker," "Tub Stopper" follows the travails of a college dropout who tries to find meaning in his pottery painting class. Garry Shandling plays the reluctant instructor!
"Over The Door Hooks" starring Jamie Bell, Chris Evans and Blake Lively
Three attractive CIA operatives wage war against a Red Roof Inn manager who they believe to be an Al Qaeda operative. Rosie Perez makes an appearance as herself.
"100 Watt Inverter" starring Tommy Lee Jones, Cedric the Entertainer and Emma Stone
Directed by Wes Anderson. Different actors put on different funny hats and deliver stilted but charming dialogue. Everything is shot symmetrically. Soundtrack by Mark Mothersbaugh zzzzzzzzzzzz
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