Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract changes, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week:

• Celery Fights

• The Jenny McCarthy Grab Bag of Almost-Comedy

• 4 Straight Hours of Ted Cruz Doing The Tootsie Roll

• Plane Crash Survivors Looking Longingly At Each Other

• This Week in Fantasy Football Commentary

• Even Younger Sheldon

The following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• Celery Fights: The Movie

• Something Paul Walker Passed On (No Pun Intended)

• Cooking Spätzle: A German Family Memoir

• Drunk Tank Webcam

• Shitty YouTube Pranksters Get Served Notices

• Conditioner!

• E-Z Pass Kills: The Toll Booth Operators Documentary

New Stupid Segment: Unintentional Ninja Turtles

Cowabunga, dude!

The Couples In Air Mattress Box Art and The Likelihood That They're Going To Bone

The Aisles of K-Mart are full of air mattresses. Not sure why I had to begin this entry with that sentence, but there you go. Intex has a different couples photo for each size of air mattress, so we decided to rank these in order of if we think they're going to bone on that thing later. Here goes:

Size: The Intex Deluxe Single High

Chemistry: Hot. Torrid. Tumid.

Likelihood They'll Bone: 100%. Full on horndog penetration already in progress.

Size: The Intex Premium Comfort Series 16"

Chemistry: Cozy, but awkward

Likelihood They'll Bone: 60%. She's probably preemptively giving him a buddy-hug to zone him out.

Size: The Intex Air Twin Bed Single

Chemistry: Simmering and smooth. ("Oh, the airbed is black, so let's get the black models!") 

Likelihood They'll Bone: 85%. My man is hiding a bottle of lube in that pillow.

Size: The Intex Classic Downy Plus

Chemistry: Stiff. Almost reclined but not quite. 

Likelihood They'll Bone: 45%. She's going home soon, and young Al Gore will be deflated.

Size: The Intex Dura-Beam Airbed

Chemistry: Dormtastically just friends. He wants to bang, but she's already thumbing through a back issue of Good Housekeeping

Likelihood They'll Bone: 0%. He should've bought a flip and fuck for the dorm lounge instead.

"First, Let's Kill All The Pathmarks."

UAG

Yet Even More Selections From The Sharper Image Catalog

Click to enlarge and read:

 

Wanting, Needing, Waiting, For You To Justify My Pathmark

What The Star Wars Costume For Your Pet Says About You

Bantha: You are a huge nerd.

Princess Leia: You are a huge nerd.

Chewbacca: You are a huge nerd.

R2D2: You are a huge nerd.

Yoda: You are a huge nerd.

Darth Vader: You are a huge nerd.

AT-AT: You are a huge nerd.

Pardon Me Boy, Is That The Racist Appliances

UAG

A Few More Puddles of New York City, Identified By Pantone Number

The people in NYC are from a wide, beautiful spectrum. So are the nasty, unidentifiable puddles. Here's a Pantone guide to help you identify what you just stepped in with open toed shoes: