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From: GHordwick
To: Office_All
Greetings, Earthlings! This is Gavin from IT, reminding you office drones to submit thy thymesheets by Friday of this week in order for our billing cycle to continue healthily, which ultimately results in each of you respectively getting paid! The importance of this task is utmost, so please find your job number below and use it when logging in your hours! Excelsior!
Your job numbers below:
483777: Putting the bomp in the bomp ba bomb bah bomp
880903: Dabbing at the end of a Skype call
339776: Not reporting Carl to HR, but warning HR that you will report Carl if they don't do something about him
001825: Folding your pay stub into a crane
592551: Praying for a fire drill to break up the monotony
803522: "Giving the nickel tour" or "showing the ropes" to the new hire who will replace you
303196: Smoking sess in the stairwell
700742: Collapsing the browser window with LinkedIn on it
588512: Unhappily answering the phones because Donna's on break
626009: Shitting your pants on purpose because what the hell
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