Goddammit

Let's suppose for a second that every time you said "Goddammit," that God would literally damn the thing to Hell that you just cursed. Here now is a short (and incomplete) list of things that He would now have damned for eternity:

• 4,893 bottles of Purell that didn't dispense properly
• 7,355,281,722 screen doors
• 89,477,162,976,933,800,323,713 barking dogs
• The Wall Street Journal
• the stop sign on the northeast corner of 510 N Oak Street, Searcy, Arkansas
• this blog
• Perry Ferrell
• 92 Dunkin Donuts stores
• 4,177 Dunkin Donuts employees
• taffeta fabric
• Phish
• 8,184,302,899 shelving units
• Ralph Nader
• the word "crevasse"
• 93,017,843,822,840,398,541,275,362,707,398,886,224 nails that didn't get hammered straight into a board
• Internet Explorer
• people who don't like the latest season of "The Simpsons"
• the shift button on 6,922,479 computer keyboards
• that Details photoshoot where Alex Rodriguez made like he was kissing himself
• The steps of the Statue of Liberty
• YOU