Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My Baby Float


"My Baby Float?!"

Baby don't belong to no one. Just because some woman pushed baby out of vagina doesn't mean baby is woman's property. Baby is own man. Baby is grateful to woman for not drinking hard liquor or smoking cigarettes for nine months, but that doesn't mean baby belongs to woman. That's indentured servitude bullshit.

Baby float on baby's own terms. Baby float because baby...

WHAT THE FUCK?! $4.99 price tag on baby's head?! It's not bad enough that baby want to float without ridiculously attractive woman grabbing the goddamn float? Float already float, and baby don't need woman's hands to help float. And now baby got to put up with stupid $4.99 price tag on forehead? This is not baby's idea of a good time floating.

Oh. $3.99 now. Big whoop. Damage already done with price tag on baby forehead. Baby can't expect to tan head with gigantic sticker. Baby not even floating for reals with unrealistically hot woman holding float like that. Baby need independence.

Can baby start day over?

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