(pleasant tone over loudspeaker)
"Thank you for waiting. Flight 856 to Tampa will now begin preboarding. Sutra Airlines invites all First Class and Business Class passengers to board."
(ten minute wait)
"At this time, Flight 856 to Tampa welcomes all Platinum, Gold, Silver, Bronze, and Jade Club members to board."
(five minute wait)
"Thank you for waiting. Any passengers requiring assistance are welcome to board."
(six minute wait)
"At this time, anyone traveling with small children are welcome to board."
(fifteen minute wait)
"Thank you for waiting. Sutra Airlines now welcomes all 'Sutra Mileage Club' members to board."
(ten minute wait)
"Flight 856 now welcomes those passengers who have very large carry-on luggage but refuse to check the goddamn things in so you can save fifty bucks. You are welcome to shove those gigantic rollers into the overhead bins of other passengers, including the ones who haven't even boarded yet."
(four minute wait)
"At this time, Flight 856 welcomes the rest of you plebeians to board. Yeah, that includes you, the old man with the crate of chickens and the goat on a rope."
(six minute wait)
"David Estoye is now welcome to board."
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