An Imagined Conversation.

"Gimme the watch."
"Ow! You're hurting me!"
"I said gimme the watch."
"Here."
"And your wallet. And your iPod. Gimme that."
"Here. Please don't hurt me!"
"Shut up."
"Can I go now?"
"No. You stay put or I swear I'll cut you...I want to ask you a question."
"Huh?"
"What the fuck you doin' in Los Vatos Locos territory with your fanny pack and Hawaiian shirt and shit?"
"Los Vatos what?"
"Don't you we run these Jackson Heights streets, son? You can't be wearing red around here."
"Uh... I think I just got lost."
"Gee, you think?"
"I was using this subway pocket map I got from New York Magazine."
"Lemme see that."
"You're still stabbing me."
"Sorry...Shit, dude. I see your problem now."
"What?"


"This formula on the back. The Arithmetic of the Avenues and some shit."
"Yeah, it's pretty confusing."
"Dude, it's downright confounding, yo."


"Uh, so do you know how I can get back to Manhattan?"
"Shit, this thing is totally confusing. I'll just drive you there."
"Really? Thanks."
"No prob. And here, take your iPod back. I hate Death Cab For Cutie."