The bus is leaving in five– no four minutes! There's no time to waste!
Hurry, Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson, there's a seat for both of you in the back! Kim Kardashian, I know it's awkward for you to sit so close to Ray Jay, but it's not a long trip. And please, make room for Katy Perry and P!nk, they're sitting across from you.
No, don't bother putting Tinkerbell in her carrying bag, Paris Hilton! Just take Nikki's hand and get on board. Speaking of sisters, nice to see you Jessica and Ashlee Simpson. And I see you've brought your new husband Pete Wentz. Hurry, you three!
Okay, keep loading up, we're on a schedule. Climb aboard, Bai Ling, Amy Winehouse, Brooke & Nick Hogan, Kimberly Stewart, Kelly & Jack Osbourne, Tila Tequila, the cast of Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, Real Chance at Love, and I Love New York, Shauna Sand, Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears, Aubrey O' Day, The Pussycat Dolls, "Speidi," Hayden Panitierre, Rihanna and Chris Brown (behave, you two!), David Spade, Denise Richards, Pete Doherty, Nicole Richie, Tara Reid, the Olsen twins, Kendra Wilkinson, Howard K. Stern, Adnan Ghalib, Sam Lufti, and oh, we mustn't forget you, Brandon Davis! Heck, you're driving this thing!
And away we go!
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