If there's one thing that Joel will not tolerate, it's lice.
Joel's chimp servant Chad Yarborough had tussled with some farm animals at the Handon Mall's free petting zoo last week and had somehow caught the lice there. It could have been either the goats or the children, quite frankly.
The chimp servant had neglected to bathe afterwards and had gone straight to preparing Joel's dinner, fricasseed dick with pesto. Then Joel had instructed it to do some dusting all around the apartment.
Long story short, the chimp servant had transmitted lice all over Joel's futon, papa san, flip 'n fuck, his gaming chair, his ceiling-mounted wicker hanging chair, and his director's chair with DICKMASTER printed on the back.
The apartment will be fumigated, and Joel will be forced to sleep at the Doubletree. The chimp servant will temporarily sleep under a 405 overpass.
(pictured above, apparently people on the East coast have EXTREMELY long commutes and never have to pee)
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