Someone Call Courteney Cox's Lawyer

Someone at the game company Wooga liked "Friends", I guess. Or maybe they're targeting middle aged folks who miss the 90s?

The Difference Between a Hot Dog and a Hot Sausage

Spotted on a NYC hot dog cart, pre-pandemic:

A hot dog will pick you up at the airport.

A hot sausage will send an Uber driven by former supermodel Kathy Ireland.

A hot dog will lend you his phone so you can make a call.

A hot sausage already has the number of whoever you want to call in their phone. They're popular, see.

A hot dog will come over for some poker and some whiskey.

A hot sausage will rent out a Hooters and teach each of the servers Texas Hold 'Em so you can all play.

A hot dog will listen to your medical woes and provide sympathy.

A hot sausage will give you the number of his chiropractor, who happens to be former supermodel Kathy Ireland.

A hot dog will be named Robert.

A hot sausage will be named Rob, Roberto, or Bert, but never Robbie.

Six Lies Told By The Harbor House "How To Eat Crabs" Brochure

1) "Turn the crab over, belly down and facing away from you." This step isn't necessary unless it gets you off from the power.

2) "Some people enjoy the taste of the 'mustard' and some will pick it away." The "mustard" is some of the best part, dammit! Of course it does look like someone blew their nose inside a crab.

3) The only time crabs has ever brought up on Fox & Friends is when the president described his sexual exploits during the Vietnam War.

4) "Jumbo Lump" is also known as a "FUPA"

5) Making a scared  cartoon crab out of the garnish isn't necessary.

6) The iLoveCrabs Cookbook brings back all your favorite minor celebrities like Hal Sparks and Chuck Nice to riff on crustaceans and to make unfunny seafood pop culture references.

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EADJ Mini-Fashion Roundup

Chewbacca's Coke Zero burps stink up the Falcon.

Spiral into my crotch!

I hope her interview for greeter at a hookah bar goes well.

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract updates, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week: 

• Cook, You

• Bike Cops Solving Dumb Murders

• The Real Housewives of "The Real Housewives" Series Producers

• Sean Spicer's Hollywood Squares Desperados

• Sanford & Son: the White, All-Female Reboot

Due to periodic contract negotiations, the following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• Game Show: Open This Capri-Sun

• Pimp My Gastrointestinal Tract

• Period Piece Drama With A Camaro In The Background

• Antonio Banderas Pronounces Different Types of Vegetable Names

• Golden Girls: The Black, All-Male Reboot

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Spoiler alert: the last panel is an oil rig.

Bruce Willis Still Can't Believe He's In Movies

"What? We're finishing this trilogy now? Okay, I guess."

"If you told me 10 years ago I'd be in a movie with THE Cole Hauser, I wouldn't believe you."

"Okay, I put the hat on. You happy? Where's my paycheck?"

"Mark-Paul Gosselaar? Okay, sharing billing with Zack Morris from 'Saved By The Bell' is all you need to know about my film career now."

"Do you want me to look intense over here, or..."

"... over here? I can do both. Heck, use one each for a different movie– I don't give a shit."