1) "Turn the crab over, belly down and facing away from you." This step isn't necessary unless it gets you off from the power.
2) "Some people enjoy the taste of the 'mustard' and some will pick it away." The "mustard" is some of the best part, dammit! Of course it does look like someone blew their nose inside a crab.
3) The only time crabs has ever brought up on Fox & Friends is when the president described his sexual exploits during the Vietnam War.
4) "Jumbo Lump" is also known as a "FUPA"
5) Making a scared cartoon crab out of the garnish isn't necessary.
6) The iLoveCrabs Cookbook brings back all your favorite minor celebrities like Hal Sparks and Chuck Nice to riff on crustaceans and to make unfunny seafood pop culture references.
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