Spotted in the Target Checkout Line

Pictured below: Stuff Old Ladies Like

It's Time To Say Goodbye To All The Shit Marketers Are Telling You To Say Goodbye To

Bye! Goodbye! Bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags: Global Pandemic Edition

These are the least used hashtags used on Twitter these days. So go ahead and use them at your discretion:

#togetherness

#freekissingbooth

#officeopenfloorplan

#latexglovehandjive

#latexglovehandjob

#americacanbeatthiswithprayer

#sushichefswithamildcoughit'snothing

#handsacrossAmericaforthecure

#cripplingdepressionoverthiswholethingactuallyfeelsprettygood

Coming "Soon" To the EADJ Crappinema: "Modesty Blaise" Starring Monica Vitti and Terence Stamp (1966)

"A spy spoof in the 60s tradition featuring the comic book heroine Modesty Blaise set in the Italian Mediterranean." So decades before Austin Powers, they were already taking the piss out of James Bond.

And from 1966, this will be the oldest film ever reviewed on the ol' Crappinema. Look for the entry in the next three years!

What The Man On the Box For An Outdoor Mat Is Thinking

You little shit.

You think just because you're 3 years old and adorable, you can hog the whole shoot? Well, I hate to break it to you, kid, but this isn't a photoshoot for a "kids only outdoor mat." No sirree. We are supposed to depict a family of three together on the mat. This isn't your big break or a springboard to your own Netflix series, you little twerp.

Oh, I do see your real mommy standing by the craft service table (which I'm surprised they even have for a still shoot, impressive!) coaching you to emote and exude and act the part or whatever, but face it, kid. This is not an acting gig- we are mannequins who look the fucking part.

At least they think we look the part. You actually look a little Asian to me, so I guess Martha here and me adopted you or kidnapped you or whatever. I'm not sure about the backstory here. What I do know is that I will strangle you with this sock monkey if you ruin this for me. I sure as hell need this $75, and you turning this into "Star Search" isn't going to help me any.

"Star Search." It's a talent show from way back. Forget it.

TGI ProofrEADJER

UAG