Previews From This Year's Consumer Electronics Show

The Consumer Electronics Show is about to begin in Las Vegas next week. Here are some of the highly anticipated releases that electronics enthusiasts are hoping to see:

• a thicker LED screen that resembles an old plasma TV

• the retro Circuit City haunted bouncy castle

• cordless slippers

• A.I. powered Magic 8-Ball that will eventually tell you to kill your neighborhood

• a wifi enabled washing machine that wastes time scrolling on X (formerly Twitter)

• a neon sign powered by ramen noodle spice packets

• wireless electric blanket that only works because it has a Skrillex logo on it

• a very, very, very painful teleporter

• special microwave oven doors that will never accidentally close on your balls. We tried.

The Latest New Benefits Of An AMC Stubs Rewards Membership

AMC would like you to join their Stubs Rewards program. How badly? Well, they've partnered with a ton of co-sponsors to bring you the hottest, latest exclusive perks if you JOIN NOW! Here are the latest benefits you can enjoy as an AMC Stubs member:

• The guy at Dunkin will show you his hilarious dick tattoo

• Everyone at the Hair Cuttery will discuss movies with you, no matter how boring you are

• Free large popcorn with purchase of the entire AMC theatre

• The local car dealership will let you take a "test drive" to the part of town that has prostitutes

• Access to exclusive AMC gummy worms in commemorative collectible box

• If anyone slaps the phone out of your hand for texting during a movie, we will let you fight back

• Free golf cart ride to the bathroom waaaay over on the other side of the theatre

• Free commas ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

• If any big name Hollywood celebrities show up to watch a movie, we'll let you sit behind them so you can smell their hair

• Free unpopped popcorn kernels- all you can carry home!

Coming "Soon" To the EADJ Crappinema: "Modesty Blaise" Starring Monica Vitti and Terence Stamp (1966)

"A spy spoof in the 60s tradition featuring the comic book heroine Modesty Blaise set in the Italian Mediterranean." So decades before Austin Powers, they were already taking the piss out of James Bond.

And from 1966, this will be the oldest film ever reviewed on the ol' Crappinema. Look for the entry in the next three years!