New Jersey Can't Star Wars.

A post from the Maplewood, New Jersey Department of Community Services on May the fourth:

Just rolls of the tongue, right?

And here's a program for the Newark Performing Arts Center:

Wait, something looks off here...

That artwork is clearly Anakin and Obi Wan fighting on the lava planet Mustafar, which happened in Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, not Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.

C'mon New Jersey! Get it right.

Nice One, Umi Sushi

Spotted on the DoorDash app: A local sushi place picks the absolutely gnarliest, hardest core piece of sushi to feature as their thumbnail. Friggin' sea urchin is only for a select few (including myself).

UMI SUSHI DON'T WANT ANY OF YOU FUTO MAKI CASUALS

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

I feel ya, Young Chop. At the pool, everybody asks you to do a cannonball.

Def Leppard font, check. Miniature booty girls, check. Throne from old 1980 Buck Rogers episode "Ardala Returns," check.

Nothing flat here, amirite?

I'm so confused by this that it makes me want to lie down and think about why I've been blogging for over a decade. Okay, pass. PASS.

Two bucks says there's gunshot sound effects between and during every track on this.

Put a cowboy hat and some Daisy Dukes on her, and you've got a honky tonk chart topper there.

I appreciate the Snoop Dogg "Doggystyle" homage more than the obvious Trump-bashing, actually.

Not sure why rappers are still referencing a cartoon that was started IN 1989, but they continue to do so. Maybe it's because Bart's so easy to draw?

Ah, finally, a borrowed reference from a Fox cartoon started more recently, like 1997.

Actual exchange with an Amazon Echo:

"Alexa, play Icytwat."

"That's so nice. Just tell me what you'd like me to do, and I'll try to help."

T-Wayne? Twayne? Tayne?

Ad Of The Day

So. Many. Questions.

So, What Did We Think Of "Dragons II: Metal Ages, The Movie" In Comparison To All The Other Crappy Movies We've Watched?

Well, it wasn't original by any stretch of the imagination. Very average storyline. Animation sucked pretty badly, and the voice acting was decent but not memorable. Very forgettable but not offensively bad. For that reason we drop it somewhere in the middle between "The Man From Button Willow" (another example of lazy animation) and "Intimate Agony," the melodramatic PSA on herpes, which now that I think about it, should really be more towards the top of the heap of this spectrum for its sheer hilarity.

Now, what movie was I talking about? You SEE?

We Meet Again, JOTB

So this morning I was downloading soundtracks from one of my favorite illegal websites, when I happened upon a title that still makes me cringe:



Both of you who follow EADJ on a regular basis might remember a movie with this title was reviewed in a 2009 Crappinema and has so far been considered the very worst movie of all the shitty movies we've reviewed.

But what's different here on this soundtrack is that it's an animated children's movie. And it's in 3-D!



The YouTube page for the trailer bills "Jock Of The Bushveld" as "South Africa's first 3-D Movie!" Wow! That's like Iceland's first bubble tea shop! Or Jamaica's first mortgage finance consulting firm! Where do I queue up?

Regardless of the fact that it's animated or has fancy depth, I'm going to assume this will be as excruciatingly boring as the live action movie I was subject to in 2009. A prospector befriends a dog. The dog dies. 120 min.

There is no way you can make that story last two hours and be enjoyable. And that includes throwing footage of Playboy Playmate Sara Jean Underwood eating penis-shaped popsicles in a cowgirl/cheerleader outfit made of cellophane. Besides, how appropriate for children would that be, really?

YOU NEED TASK CHAIR

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