The EADJ Crappinema Presents Jock Of the Bushveldt

Holy fucking shit. The things I do for this blog. I suffered through 90 of the most excruciatingly boring minutes of my life with the latest Crappinema offering, "Jock of the Bushveldt." The box says "In 1886, 20 year old Percy Fitzpatrick from Kapstad sets out for Delagoa Bay in Transvaal to dig for gold." But what it meant to say was "We are going to bore you so badly with footage of a dude playing with his dog for two hours that you'll start hating dogs and wish for the sweet release of death." Dude, this thing was SO PAINFUL to watch, it took me four months to even get through it to make this entry. Absolutely miserable.























































Here's a touching dog/man love sequence montage when Percy Fitzpatrick must leave Jock for some reason. Who gives a shit anymore?


To approximate my agony, just watch this clip 90 times.




After not much deliberation, I plotted "Jock of the Bushveldt" on the ol' EADJ Crappinema Continuum (patent pending). And sure enough, that bad boy was the very worst one of the ten (!) films that have been reviewed in this segment. It was relentlessly, brutally boring in a way that can only be described as "attention cancer."

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