The ProofrEADJer: February Edition

"Adorpion?"

New Rewards Benefits For AMC Stubs Members

The benefits just keep adding up for both new and existing AMC Stubs cardholders! Here are the latest perks you can enjoy at your next trip to an AMC Theatre:

• We'll rearrange the marquee letters outside to display your Social Security number

• If you don't like a movie, we will supply you with a $1.8 million budget with cast and crew to shoot your own version.

• Free nasty, germy 3D glasses that have probably sat on the head of some brat with lice

• Free refills of Absolut Vodka if you purchase a bottle at the AMC bar

• Trent in the concession stand would love to discuss Sean Hannity with you if you would ever want to discuss Sean Hannity with someone.

• 1/2 off all plot twists and MacGuffins

• If you are caught videotaping a movie in the theatre for illegal distribution, we will simply tut-tut and wag our finger at you.

• Do you like cheese? Because I do, too.

• Your own personalized emergency exit

• Free funeral if you die, but the coffin must be AMC-branded

Stupid Shark Movie Tagline Jamboree!

Here now are several nonexistent taglines for a movie that shouldn't exist in the first place:

But that's not all, folks. Here is a new movie we came across: "Shark Exorcist," presumably from the same filmmakers (who cares)?

"Satan has jaws" is their real movie tagline, but it is such WEAK SAUCE. So here are two bonus taglines for this presumably equally stupid shark disaster mashup movie:

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Always. Even if it's vaguely racist.

"Snap Into A Maguro Roll!"

Spotted at a sushi restaurant in Union, NJ, an appropriate accompanying visual for the "Macho Roll:"

I'm actually surprised there wasn't a picture of Wiz Khalifa for the Special Baked Roll.

Special Hurricane Irene Post!

Since we are stuck at home due to the hurricane snarling all trains to NYC, let's review what we saw during Hurricane Irene news footage, shall we? No? Well, I'm doing it anyway. Fuck you guys.





Every channel had a Hurricane Irene logo for their newscast. Some were better than others.

YOU NEED TASK CHAIR

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